


Silver Linings

by Blood And Bites (godrics_quill22)



Series: World on Fire [1]
Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: 1994 Prison World (Vampire Diaries), 69 (Sex Position), Anal Fingering, Bamon, Bamon sex, Blood, Blood Drinking, Blood Kink, Blood Sharing, Cunnilingus, Drama, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Flirting, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Human/Vampire Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Love, Male-Female Friendship, Mentions of past Elena/Damon, Multiple Orgasms, Oral Sex, POV Multiple, Passionate Sex, Restraint, Reunion, Romance, Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Humor, Sexual Tension, Slow Build, Squirting, Teasing, Vaginal Sex, Vampire Bites, Vampire Sex, Vampires, footrubs, implied Elena&Liam relationship, implied sex, mentions of Stefan/Caroline relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-22
Updated: 2019-03-02
Packaged: 2019-08-27 16:13:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 45,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16705687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/godrics_quill22/pseuds/Blood%20And%20Bites
Summary: “Bon bon” Damon made a sound between a groan and a whimper as her pulse sounded loud and harsh in his ear. He could feel his face changing, feel his fangs start to extend as the sweet nectar that was her blood beckoned him and yet he made no move. Never in his life has he felt so pained. “please...—” it came out as a broken gasp. Usually he would speed off but he couldn't even gather the strength to do that.





	1. Once

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jerkchickenz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jerkchickenz/gifts), [Crys_Terrell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crys_Terrell/gifts).



> **DISCLAIMER: I own no rights to any of the characters in this story and have no affiliations with TVD... This story was written for fun purposes and not for profit.**

Damon Salvatore was grumbling as he made today’s pancakes. Yes, admittedly he had a lot of fun hearing Bonnie whine about eating the same darn thing every day but today, he had found out that he belated this place... This personal brand of hell.

You'd think since he was being made to relive this day over and over, everything will start off everyday replenishing itself. Everything, that is, like blood.

In his first month in this place, he had rummaged every blood bank he could get to —and yes, admittedly he had binged on the blood bags when he had first discovered them in the Mystic Falls hospital because he had been famished— but he half expected, that since he had to live with the blasted eclipse every darn day, he should be replenished on blood too.

How sorely wrong was he.

“What's got your panties in a twist?” Bonnie asked a little absentmindedly, not looking up from the newspaper she held in her hands. She figured whether or not she was sitting upright, Damon was going to say what he wanted to say. No more, no less.

“It's official. I've run out of blood.” He grumbled again, turning the pancake over and pressing the pancake turner to it gently.

“Well you'll have to make do with wine and any other liquid you can find. I recall telling you to ration the blood well so you won't run out.”

“And I remember telling you I hate rations. They bring back memories I'd much rather forget.” He offered with a calm he didn't really feel. Over the last few months, having no one to talk to and no one to be angry at, or fight with except Bonnie, the two of them have reached a certain agreement of codependency... They were each other's release from pent up anger, stress, frustration... They were their own shoulder to cry on, a word of discouragement or encouragement depending on the circumstances...

Bonnie Bennet has been his rock in the last few months and the one person who had kept him sane through it all but she didn't need to know that. It was enough that he admitted that to himself. He didn't need to take a megaphone and announce it to the whole world —in their case, Bonnie—

He scoffed. Bonnie Bennet was literally his whole world. Who would have thought. Groaning for the millionth time that morning, he set the pancake down in front of Bonnie, not bothering with the usual decoration he did and started gulping down on wine.

“It's been four months, Damon... I can't keep eating pancakes everyday for however long we have to stay here for. I mean, I know I'm the one who said I enjoyed pancakes but how long do you think someone can survive on just **one thing** before they feel like killing themselves?” She folded the newspaper and laid it to the side but picked up her fork to start eating anyway.

“I can survive on blood forever... However long that is. _just blood_.” Damon quipped, swirling the wine around in his glass. If he shut his senses and made a conscious effort, he could lie to himself and pretend that the red wine was in fact, the succulent blood of a naive virgin girl.

“Oh please. You know it's not the same thing.” Bonnie's voice snapped him out of whatever zone he had been about to slip into.

“Pretty much the same thing to _me_. And yeah, you'll have to make do with what you got... Since you understand the import of rationing **so well**.”

Bonnie rolled her eyes and opted to ignore the sulky vampire before her. She already had trouble swallowing the food. Adding a Damon–sized plug in her throat was just pushing the limits, even for her.

The room fell silent after a while. They didn't always feel the need to communicate. They have come to accept the moments of silence as they came and although it was initially very uncomfortable, recently, it was considered a moment of peaceful thoughts where they each had the liberty to let their thoughts run wild in whatever direction they would go.

Damon's thoughts always found their way to Elena. Those last moments with her in the car... the words she had been about to say, the words that resonated in his ears as loudly as though he _had_ heard them. Her face, her smile, her glorious laughter and the way her skin glowed particularly after a heavy bout of sex... Those visions kept him going just as much as Bonnie's presence did and sometimes he wondered what kept the Bennet witch going... Was it the little Gilbert or some force of nature that only witches are privy to? Somehow, they never breached the subject of _what are you living for?_ or _why are you trying so hard to survive in this place where there is no possible way out?_

He imagined Bonnie knew he was trying his damnedest to hold on much longer, for Elena.

And somehow, he imagined the witch was doing same. For the same person.

Elena.

He sighed, rubbing his fingers through unruly black hair, setting the wine glass dejectedly on the table and watching as the thin liquid splashed on the inside of the glass. Who was he kidding? 

“You can try the blood banks in the hospital in the neighboring towns.” Bonnie provided helpfully as she got up to wash her plates. Damon insisted on cooking as long as she washed the dishes afterwards which she didn't mind. I would be better if she wasn't _always_ washing pancake dishes. Maybe a steak dinner perhaps?

“You think I haven't done that? This place is absolute hell. Apparently, on May 10th 1994, there weren't quite as much blood bags in any of the hospitals.” Damon sulked further.

“Don't tell me...—” Bonnie wheeled around on her heel, having a hard time believing.

“Yes, Bon bon, Where do you think I go every afternoon when I leave home for two hours? I have combed all hospitals within a 500 mile radius of here—

“And drunk all the blood too, I presume.” Bonnie accused.

“And drunk all the blood, yes. Have you not been listening to me? There wasn't enough blood to begin with. Were people that stingy with blood in '94?” He got up and started pacing the floor. It has been a whole week since he tasted blood and yes, he admitted he shouldn't have drunk so carelessly before but still, when living in a time such as this, reliving one of your worst days and not knowing how to get out, when you will be able to get out and if you will be able to get out at all, you tend to be a little reckless.

A lot reckless if you are Damon Salvatore and as it turns out, he **was** Damon Salvatore.

He'd be damned.

“You’d know. What were you doing on May 10th 1994 anyways? Robbing a blood bank?” Bonnie threw nonchalantly over her shoulder and sensed Damon stop dead in his tracks. Okay so something was starting to make sense to her... All the time he had spent whining about this being his personal hell... Perhaps it had something to do with why he would stop dead in his tracks at a question like that.

That, or she was overreacting and thinking about things she shouldn't. She set the plates to the side to dry and turned around, ready to be corrected.

Instead, she got a good convincing. Damon Salvatore was definitely not happy about the events of May 10th 1994.

“I'm sorry I said that. I didn't mean—” She started to apologize only for Damon to cut in.

“I wasn't robbing a bank.” His listless voice mumbled, eyes unfocused for a while longer before literally snapping himself out of his trance to direct piercing blue eyes at her. “I was...—”

“You don't have to tell me.” Bonnie quickly jumped in. She figured if he reacted like this to a simple harmless comment, then he sure as hell wasn't up to sharing.

“Yeah. Maybe later.” Damon agreed. It didn't help that he literally won't have any other time to tell her since all the days now are blended into one. There really was no way this was not hell. Nothing _—absolutely nothing—_ can be worse than this, and for the first time, he didn't think he had been living such an _awful_ life to deserve this punishment.

Or perhaps, he was just getting punished for everything he had done before now.

Sighing, he walked out of the house.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~©~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damon had been gone all day and although that was the longest time apart they have been from each other since coming into this alternate universe, Bonnie was worried. The plus side was that, considering Damon's tendency to snap necks when he was upset, she was happy there were no such necks to be snapped by him which meant whatever mischief he was getting up to, was not the kind that could get anyone killed. 

Except perhaps himself?

She sighed again. She had gone grocery shopping and got ingredients to make steak but had waited till 7:00pm to start cooking because Damon usually preferred to do the cooking.

At 8:00pm, she had gone through a series of emotions from worry that something has indeed happened to him because he hadn't been home and Damon Salvatore, in spite of his many faults, will not leave her to starve... To hoping that he had taken a zoom trip to the next uninvaded hospital to find some blood bags.

She finished setting the table and kept their food in the microwave oven, waiting for him to come back.

She fell asleep at some point.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~©~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damon had lost track of time, partly because he was agonizing about massacring a room full of people and how to break the news to Bonnie. He had no idea when it had started but her opinion of him mattered and he feared, in this solitary place, that if Bonnie Bennet ostracised him, he would truly lose his mind.

At a quarter to midnight, he pushed open the door to his house and stepped through, confused by the mixture of aromas that hit him. The lights were off so he moved to where he knew the switch was and flicked them on only to be rewarded with a groan.

He turned the corner and was met with a sight that melted his anxiety away like wax.

There she sat at the head of the wide dining table, candles melted to the hilt, plates and wine set up before her and she had her head in one of the plates, asleep.

He hated to assume that she had waited for him, not eating, worried... And he had just been lost in himself. Smiling wistfully, he walked to the sleeping witch and pulled a chair carefully to sit by her, his hand moving just as cautiously to pat her head, brushing away the strands that had escaped the bunch and were cascading onto her face.

She twitched in her sleep as his finger accidentally brushed her forehead and slowly her eyes cracked open, unfocused and clouded over. She looked at him hazily for a while and smiled when she recognized him. “Damon”

“Bon bon” He whispered in response, the caress in her hair much bolder now that she was awake and he had no fear of waking her up.

“I thought you left...” she croaked and added almost as an afterthought, when Damon opened his mouth to speak, “ _...me_ ”

“And go where?” He smiled wanly at her. “I'm sorry I was gone all day... I lost track of time and just wanted to sulk for a bit.” He explained honestly.

Bonnie sat up slowly, still wearing a smile and stretched. “Yeah I get that... It can be quite stuffy here.”

“I personally like my odds.” Damon grinned, earning him a shake of Bonnie's head.

“I know you prefer to cook but I got tired of waiting so I made steak and that means—”

“I'm on dishwashing duty tonight.” He finished with a grin and stood up to head their food.

“Are you okay?” Bonnie asked cautiously as she watched his tensed back.

“Are you?” Damon didn't look back to answer her.

“No. Honestly, no. But I'm happy knowing you're here... Being here alone would be too much to handle.”

Damon smiled as he set the pates down on the table, one in front of Bonnie and the other where he was to sit. “I know this is hardly the romantic candlelit dinner you prepared but I promise I'll make it up to you.”

She only hummed her response as she dove into her food. She was famished. “So did you get blood?” she asked after a while when her stomach was no longer growling.

“No.” he replied curtly. He had tried not to think about his blood deficiency but the mere mention of blood was doing things to his insides.

They ate in companionable silence and Bonnie retired to bed right afterwards. Damon stayed behind to wash the dishes and after that, try as he may, he couldn't get himself to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~©~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another week passed and Damon was starting to look worse for wear. For someone who was very liberal with drinking blood, not having blood in his system for such an extended period of time was wrecking him from the inside out.

He knew he wasn't well when he had a hard time helping Bonnie dress a cut wound she had inflicted on herself when she insisted on cooking lunch and by evening, Bonnie had caught on.

“I think it's time we moved out.” Damon mumbled darkly that evening when they sat on the porch reading.

“Damon...”

“Come on, Bon bon, let's face it. No one's coming. If they are, they would have already been here. Perhaps they moved on, and quite frankly, I hope they did.” He cuts through her words before she even started. “I know why we stayed here... just in case they're coming for us, they'll know where to find us but come on, it's been more than four months, we have run out of blood bags and I can't be sane around you for much longer when all I can think of when I'm with you, is blood.” He hadn't intended for that to sound like a whine but it did. He felt guilty as hell, wanting her blood, afraid of what he would do if he didn't get a sturdy inflow soon... Afraid that he might lose control and drain her... He was afraid.

The witch sat there listening to him for a while and understood what he meant, understood how much that must have cost for him to say those words to her... How critical his condition must be to make such a request. She understood that. And yet, she understood that should their friends back home get even a small window of time to get them home, their odds will be greater if they were right where they can be found. 

Home.

She set her book face down and stood, walking across the porch to stand in front of him. When Damon looked up, the telltale signs of confusion were written all over his face as expected. Swallowing audibly and hoping the other didn't interpret that as nervousness and uncertainty, she held her wrist up to his face.

“Bon bon” Damon made a sound between a groan and a whimper as her pulse sounded loud and harsh in his ear. He could feel his face changing, feel his fangs start to extend as the sweet nectar that was her blood beckoned him and yet he made no move. Never in his life has he felt so pained. “please...—” it came out as a broken gasp. Usually he would speed off but he couldn't even gather the strength to do that.

“I want you to, Damon...” Bonnie whispered as she moved to stand between his parted legs from where he sat on the porch wall. “Feed on me for as long as we can hold on and when we decide that blood isn't the only factor and we are really ready to give up and live here forever or die together, we can go on that road trip.” she whispered, her voice coaxing.

“It's too dangerous, Bon... What if I can't stop? What if after all the hunger I just can't—”

“You can and you will...” She assured him confidently, one hand brushing his hair while she held her right wrist up to his lips.

“Bon...—” unable to resist, his fangs sunk into her veins, hands holding hers to keep her in place. In the distance, he heard her hiss and Damon moaned as the sweet metallic taste rose into him mouth, washing over his entire body. He could literally feel every joint, nerve and tendon jump back alive... Eyes closed, legs pulling her close as he drunk what he had so wanted for so long.... He was on a high.

“That’s... Damon that's enough.... Damon you're hurting me!” Bonnie used her last bit of energy to scream and sighed when Damon let go of her sharply as though he had been burned. “You did it.” she managed to whisper right before she passed out.

When she woke up, she was in her bed, the sun's rays making occasional splashes across her face every time they peeked through the curtains and Damon was nowhere to be found.


	2. Twice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was bound to happen again...

It took a while for her to make sense of her surroundings but the sun's rays did an excellent job reminding her of that and slowly –much slower than it usually took– she came to a full recognition of her surroundings. She was in her room in Damon’s house, locked away in world 1994 and reliving yet another 10th May.

Bonnie sat up in bed, perhaps a little quicker than she should have, a groan slipping out of her lips which she hadn't even know had parted, as her head swam and she literally saw stars. Clutching her head, she tried to make sense of why she was feeling so woozy and caught sight of something she was sure was the first time she was seeing it. Pulling her hand down from her forehead, her eyes focused on the two tiny sore points on her wrist and just like that, the previous night’s activities came flooding back to her.

She had offered Damon her blood in a way he couldn't have said no to. She had been well aware of the fact that it was dangerous but had trusted that he would stop before any harm came to her.

**And he had.**

So where was he this morning? Groaning once again, she carefully climbed out of bed and padded barefoot to the door, making a disgusted face as the taste of blood flooded her mouth. She wondered where _that_ came from but shrugged it away after her tongue did a quick scan of her mouth to be sure she wasn't bleeding anywhere.

“Damon, you there?” The echo of her own voice came back to her in a manner that was scary and without confirmation she knew that Damon was not at home. Usually, he'd be in the kitchen cooking up the breakfast of champions... Sitting there with a smirk on his face and ready to hand her the _–same–_ day's paper with flourish, as though it was not the same paper that came in every day for the last four and half months in this place. Carefully, she walked down the stairs, holding onto the bannister to steady herself.

She hadn't realized how close of a cut that was but wow she was dizzy. She chose not to imagine what her fate would be if Damon had kept going for a few more minutes...

... And then realized. Damon not being at home this morning was no coincidence. Absolutely not. He had more than likely had the same thought, beat himself up over it repeatedly till he felt too guilty to be in the same space with her.

“Don't be cute, Damon Salvatore.” she muttered as she finally entered the kitchen, a smile on her face. It felt strange and surreal even. She remembered what her relationship with Damon was like in the beginning... –how happy he would have been to be rid of her and happier, if he would have drained her dry with his own teeth and snapped her head in the process just to make sure she was really dead– and how she would have wanted nothing more than to end his miserable existence.

How did they get to this place?

At what point did their feelings for each other change, she wasn't sure. And at what point did Damon care for her so **_blatantly_** that he would beat himself up for almost hurting her.

Wearing a suspicious smile, she managed to make herself breakfast, choosing to make omelettes instead of pancakes and feeling like a naughty girl getting into some form of mischief when her dad was not around.

She giggled all morning, enjoying her lunch and hoping that Damon will get over his sulking and come home for lunch.

He didn't.

By lunch, Bonnie was feeling much better. For the most part, she wasn't so dizzy anymore and the world had stopped spinning. She contemplated going out to search for the sulky vampire but discarded the idea. If Damon did not want to be found, no one would find him. Besides, where was one supposed to start looking for a vampire from? He could be in the woods by the house or halfway across the country and it's not as if she had her witch powers in this blasted place to cast a tracking spell on him.

In essence, she will be a fool to step out to _try_ looking for him and Bonnie Bennet was a lot of things but a fool was not one of them.

So she decided to wait. She didn't bother with lunch because she wasn't entirely hungry so she settled on some chips –Damon would call her out for eating junk food in his precious house and she would rebut with a sassy “you drink <>blood, Damon... There is nothing, literally nothing more junk than that. And then he would pretend to be wounded but only for a short while before they eased back into companionable chatter–

By 3:00pm, she was missing him to the point of it being unbearable but kept telling herself that she was going to be understanding. If Damon Salvatore needed time, she was going to give him time.

In the meantime, she started planning what to have for dinner. 

Knowing Damon, he would walk in here after however long he goes away, and pick things off where they left off. Awkward conversations and chitty chatter about feelings were reserved for those nights, once every month when they sat on the floor and drunk themselves into a stupor. Just then.

She spent the rest of the afternoon trying to get her magic back –to disastrous results, if she might add– and at 8:00pm, she made herself noodles, gulped them down mostly to fill her stomach, and settled on the couch to read. Her feet were towards the door and she propped herself up on the couch cushions, wanting to see Damon the moment he walked through the door.

She didn't.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~©~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He had almost hurt her, and as he had set her in bed that night after almost raining her, he hadn't been able to take it.

Damon slit his wrist open, opening up a vein and holding it to her lips. “Drink up, bon bon” he urged but she just shook her head in disagreement. “please... For me. I need you to be okay.” that had somehow gotten to her and she had parted her lips to accept his blood. Weakly, her hand came up to hold his wrist to her lips as she lapped at the blood that oozed out freely from his ripped vein.

He watched for a while after she had fallen to sleep, mesmerized by the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she slipped further into unconsciousness, watched as the colour started filling up her features and he was overwhelmed with a severe sense of guilt. Initially he had thought he was feeling that way because he had just hurt Elena's best friend but the more he watched her, sleeping, breathing, still and calm, he realized he wasn't anguished because it had anything to do with Elena. He was anguished because he remembered Bonnie's face, the look of utter and complete trust in her eyes as she had given herself to him... To feed. He had to remind himself that she had only given herself to him _to feed._

That had had nothing to do with Elena. No. Nothing about that had anything to do with Elena. She had given her blood to him because whether or not she was ready to admit it, she cared about him and he realized with shattering clarity that he cared for her too.

**A lot.**

He needed time. He needed to sort out everything in his head and most of all, he needed to come to a conclusion: 

_How important was it to him, to go back home?  
If he had to be here forever with Bonnie alone, would he be happy with that?_

Because Bonnie Bennet had made her stance on the issue very clear. Until they were certain blood was not the only factor, they were not leaving and she was going to keep offering her wrist to him... To drink from. 

When his answer came, it shocked him.

He didn't mind. He found he didn't mind at all spending eternity with _just Bonnie Bennet_. Now all he had to do was figure out a way of convincing the other one that he would rather miss their chance –if there was one,– of going back home than to hurt her because he wasn't getting a constant flow of blood. Of course he had learned his lesson. In as much as he would prefer to live like the ‘careless brother’ he had built his reputation on, he couldn't do that anymore. He had to be responsible not just to himself but to Bonnie. He resolved to live on rations with the next blood stash he finds even if he hated the idea of rationing.

Slowly, he made his way back home. He hadn't really paid attention to where he was going or where he was headed. He had simply just walked and deciding to get back home to Bonnie, he just turned around and started walking back. Pros of being in this alternate universe alone with Bonnie, he could take midnight trips like this and have no fear of having a stake in his heart by some scorned hunter.

It was past 2:00am when he got back home and the first sight that greeted him was Bonnie on the couch, the book she had been reading, no doubt as she waited for him to come back home, haphazardly lay somewhere on the floor. From what he could tell, she wasn't so comfortable in that position so the first thing he did was to hook an arm behind her knees and one around her shoulder to hoist her up and carry her upstairs to her room.

He gently lay her on the bed, pulled the covers around her and whispered soothingly to her when it seemed she had been about to wake up. For the rest of the night, he just sat there, looking at her as she slept, thoughts in a rampage and yet, somehow, very organized.

He cared for her. Bonnie Bennet. He loved her... And that's the thing. He didn't know why, how or how much he loved her but he was sure in his entire existence that she was the only person –aside Stefan, of course– that he had felt this strongly about. It wasn't a desire to have her love him back that fuelled his love for her, and it had nothing to do with whether or not he would have sex with her... It was far from it.

Damon Salvatore, loved Bonnie Bennet, without expecting anything in return.

He always did find what he felt for Stefan to be so strange. It never did make sense to him –or a lot of people, to be honest– how they can fight and hate each other _so much_ and still move mountains. How they expected nothing from the rare times they showed their love but he had understood what that meant when he had encountered the Original family. All that hate, all that pain... And yet...

He didn't know how long he sat by her, gently brushing her hair but got up when he realized it was almost morning. He had a peace offering to prepare and something told him pancakes won't cut it.

First thing Bonnie noticed when she woke up was the glorious aroma that filled her nostrils, the second was that she was in her own bed. It left very little to chance, really. Considering she and Damon were the only two people in this place, if she wasn't responsible for it, he was.

Carelessly, she hopped out of bed, feeling much better than she had the previous morning, running barefoot down the steps to where she was certain she would find him. Damon stood with his back to her and the relief that washed over her was enough to wipe out any and all form of anxiety she had felt. Not thinking about it, she run the rest of the way and hugged him from behind, her hands wrapping around his midsection as she placed her cheek on his back, closing her eyes to savor the feeling of having him back here.

Damon knew it the moment she woke up and sensed it when she had recognized his presence but could not predict how much trouble he was in because of the aroma of the breakfast he was cooking which clouded hers. He steeled himself for the beration he expected to come and was shocked when he felt her arms wrap around him. He mentally kicked himself, then kicked himself again.

How many times was he going to just _leave her_ and come back only to be given this welcome? “I'm so sorry...” he heard himself whisper brokenly as he dropped the spoon he had been holding and placed his hands on hers around him.

“For what?” Bonnie's voice came from behind him, soft, unjudging.

“For doing this all the time... Leaving, coming back when I want, leaving you here all alone and...” he gulped audibly. “...for the other night. For drinking too much, for violating your trust in me for–” he found he could talk better with her about what had been going through his mind, if he wasn't looking at her.

“I'm the one who offered, Damon.” she cut in. “I'm the one who held up my wrist for you to drink from... Because I wanted you to. Because I'm stubborn and even though you had a legitimate reason for wanting to be out of here, I stubbornly refused and you **let** me have my stubborn way. It was all me, Damon... I knew what I was doing when I offered and I knew you wouldn't kill me.” she says, her voice muffled by his back.

“We should leave, Bonnie... We need to go. I can't trust myself with you anymore. Not after what happened.”

“But I do. I trust myself with you. Isn't that enough?” Bonnie asked, trying to keep the plea out of her voice. She pulled back slowly and moved to stand beside the vampire, beckoning him to look at her which he eventually did.

Damon didn't like this feeling. Not really. “No it's not, bon bon... Not after last time.” 

She sighed then took a step back. And another. Damon didn't really like the determined look on her face and she feared what her next words might be. But more importantly, he feared, after his moment of clarity in the wee hours of the morning, that he won't be able to say no to her. To stand his ground. What he didn't believe was that she was still willing to have him feed on her even after nearly draining her dry.

“You know, I had a feeling you would say that.” Bonnie's voice cut through his reverie. “Because yesterday, I had all day to myself while you were out moping and _I_ was thinking. I was going to suggest that to avoid you draining me, I could spill the blood into a cup and you can drink from there but I know you, and I know that approach won't hold up for long. You **thrive** on digging into flesh and vein and _that's_ how you get your satisfaction.” She held her hand up to stop him when he opened his mouth to say something –probably discouraging. – “So I was thinking again, and then I realized the reason why you lost control was because you were starving. The Damon Salvatore I know does not lose control with blood. You're much stronger than that. You're not a slave to the good stuff.”

Damon couldn't help smiling at that. “Bonnie, I know you're trying to cheer me up so I'll agree...–”

“I'm not lying to you. I'm being blatantly honest right now. **You** only lose control when **you** want to lose control and that is how we'll do it. We'll make sure you don't go for long hours without blood. I'll give you my blood every morning and every night... In small quantities. I'll eat foods that will replenish my blood, take blood tonics and increase haemoglobin or whatever and I'm going to feed you so you don't starve.. And if you don't starve, then you don't lose control and we can stay here together for a while longer.”

It made sense. And Damon hated that. “I'm not treating you as a meal and that's the end of this discussion. Now sit and have your breakfast. I made you a full English breakfast.” He says as he sidestepped her to set a glass of juice and a plate of bacon, sausages, eggs and baked beans on the table. He had a moment to watch her stash away that defiant look. Oh, wherever she had kept that, he was sure it will be revived soon. He couldn't help smiling to himself.

Over the next few days, they had the same discussion on an hourly basis and came to the sane conclusion every time.

Damn will not drink from her.

End of discussion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~©~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He slammed the book he was reading down hard on the table, fingers running through his hair in frustration.

From where she stood in front of the fridge, trying to get a glass of that blood replenishment smoothie she had started to drink –much to Damon's disdain – Bonnie smiled triumphantly. It has been approximately ten full days since Damon drunk from her and over the last few days, she had started to notice the signs. He was trying too hard to stay calm...to stay sane. He was fleeing her company too regularly and she was allowing him to. “You need blood.” She deadpanned as she took a sip of that godawful smoothie from hell and tried not to crunch up her face.

“Yes, dammit! Thank you for noticing!” Damon snapped in response.

Bonnie all but cackled but remained professional. Whether he realized it or not, this was the first time he had actually admitted to his current state of weakness and she was pleased. Baby steps of not, she was going to savor this. “Hey... Don't be mad at me. I did nothing. I _offered_ and you said no, remember?”

Damon leaned forward, elbow on the kitchen island as he massaged his temples as though that will make the cravings disappear.

Bonnie finished her glass with some difficulty and carefully rinsed it, setting it upside down to dry and moved to stand behind him, giving his shoulders a rub.

Damon relaxed into her touch. He knew he shouldn't... not when he was feeling this vulnerable. Not when **she** was the reason he was feeling so vulnerable. And yet he did, eyes closing as her fingertips worked the tension out of his shoulders. He felt her palms start to move lower on his arm, massaging his biceps as she lowered her chin onto his head. He shouldn't be this far gone but he was.

Bonnie wasn't sure what came over her. All she wanted to do was to give him a shoulder massage and then move away, offer and pull back till he had no other option than to take what he needs and yet she couldn't pull away. Her palms roamed over his biceps, moved back up to give his shoulders a squeeze then moved around his neck to massage whatever skin was visible through the v neck he had chosen to wear that day.

Damon's head lifted, he imagined because he wanted to give her hands more room to do what they were doing but when his eyes parted open, he was staring into eyes filled with curiosity and concern, laced with confusion and he was sure his own eyes reflected the same things.

Bonnie's smile was brief but tender and she moved one hand to gently caress Damon's face. “I trust you.” she whispered, and at the pained look in his eyes, she continued. “And I need you here with me, Damon... so please. Okay? Please.” Why did she sound like **she** needed it and not him? Why did she feel so weak in this moment as though she was capable of giving him everything he needed –and more– if he was willing to take it?

Why was her heart doing double flips in her chest and why was it that when Damon's eyes fluttered shut, she leaned in to press a kiss to his forehead?

He sensed it when her wrist brushed his lips, sensed it when his inhibitions slipped into nothing and opened his eyes to look up at her. She nodded her consent and slowly, fighting every urge he had in his body to just devour her, he sunk his fangs into her wrist. For a while, his eyes remained locked on hers, noticed when her eyes glazed over with a foreign emotion, noticed when she bit into her bottom lip and watched as her eyes became hooded.

He didn't suck, just licked at her skin till the blood stopped flowing on its own and made to pull away but she shook her head at him. “If we're going to do this weekly, you're going to need more than that, Damon. Drink.”

The fingers of her free hand run through his hair affectionately, pressing a kiss to the top of his head and Damon lost himself in that caress. Eyes fluttering shut, he tentatively held her wrist to his lips as he drank, distinctly aware of her behind him, her fingers in his hair, the occasional kiss in his hair... It kept him sane, kept him grounded, stopped him from losing control as he fed till he was full –surprisingly–.

He lapped at the skin once again till the blood stopped oozing and without warning, pulled her around to sit in his lap. She yelped at the suddenness of the movement but allowed herself a light chuckle when she was lifted into his lap.

“Now your turn.” Damon whispered as he held his palm to his mouth and bit down.

“Damon I'm fine... You didn't drain me to the red this time and I take blood supplements, remember?” Bonnie managed with a breathy chuckle.

“I insist. It'll make me feel much better.” His one hand was still holding her around the waist as the other was held to her lips. She leaned in and started drinking what was on offer. The moan was unintended but it was heard anyway as his hand tightened around her, eyes closing as he breathed in her scent.

“It healed.” he heard Bonnie say after a while and pulled back enough to ask “Need more?”

“No I think I'm good.” Yes, she was a little lightheaded but frankly, she wasn't sure if that was because of the blood loss or because of the intense moment they just had. “and ready to pass out.” she mumbled, sinking into him.

Not waiting to be probed, Damon lifted her up as he stood, carefully heading towards the stairs.

“You did it.” She whispered, sounding too happy for Damon's comfort.

“Yes, I did it.” He indulged.

“You didn't lose control. I knew you wouldn't.” She smiled up at him when he lay her on her bed and tucked some of her hair behind her ears.

“Thank you.” he whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead. When he lifted himself up, she was fast asleep.

He was slowly –but surely– getting ruptured.

It scared him.

_It thrilled him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is starting to form up in my head now.  
> Hope you like it.


	3. Charmed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damon just wanted to distract Bonnie...
> 
> He didn't think he'll be so good at it.

_She had dozed off on the couch for God knows how long but slowly, her eyes cracked open. That's when she felt a pair of eyes on her. Bonnie's eyes scanned the room till they settled on Damon, sitting on the coffee table just in front of her; She could practically feel his breath on her and was torn between smiling like this was a normal step in their relationship, and feeling suspicious, which was normal._

_"You know you're cute when asleep." Damon muttered with a smile. It wasn't a smile that he had ever used on her before. Nor was it a smile that she had seen on his face before. It was warm and friendly and nice and had something that brought back the initial suspicion that he was up to something. The sight of it spread a warm tingly feeling throughout the witch's body and it made her shiver._

_For the first time in a very long time, Bonnie Bennet was at a loss for words. She didn't know what to say to his comment._

_Damon was suddenly sitting beside her. So close that their thighs were touching. She felt heat rush up to my cheeks and imagined she'd be blushing furiously by now if she had whiter skin. Well, thank God for Tue little mercies. She watched, hypnotized as his palms moved up her thigh and to her midsection, tentatively brushing her nipples before rubbing down her sides to pull up her top. She watched, every step of the way and still had no urge –or desire– to pull his hands away, to protest of even come up with a weak “no”..._

_What was wrong with her? Her brain tried to analyse even as she lifted her hands to allow him pull her top off with ease. He discarded it somewhere and moved his attention back to her. He unclasped her bra and pulled it off without looking away, his gaze holding her to the spot. She felt hypnotized... Or compelled. A part of her wanted to pull away from him and yell at him, telling him to get his hands off of her and remind him of Elena, her friend and his girlfriend but then another part of her wanted him to touch her some more._

_Bonnie hissed with pleasure with every piece of her skin he touched, a brush of his fingertips sent spiraling tremors along her nerve endings and she felt like she would die if he didn't keep touching her._

_Damon's hands grabbed her by the hips and hoisted her up –too easily– on top of him so that she was straddling his waist. He still didn't take his eyes off her, watching her the whole time as he ran his hands so intimately from her hips, making his way up her sides, pausing almost shyly at the sides of her breast, to her shoulders, skimming across her collar bone, up her neck and into her thick hair. He growled as a sound left Bonnie's lips, her mouth forming a perfect 'O' as his lips moved to her neck and travelled up to her ear lobe, sucking and nibbling on it. Bonnie's eyes rolled back and flickered shut from the sensations that were coursing through her entire being but when he found that sensitive spot just behind her ear, her head dropped back as though begging him for more, and moaned. Right. Out. Loud._

_She could feel her panties starting to dampen, but he didn't stop. If anything, her moan just egged him on and the next thing she knew, his hands were at the top of her shorts and then he had them off in a tick. She made it a point to never wonder how vampires were in bed and definitely what Damon Salvatore was like in bed but wow, who knew this man had such good hands. She loved the feel of them all over her body, enjoying the fireworks happening at her nerve endings. She moaned when he leaned her back, pulling her crotch closer to his as his lips trailed kisses and licks down her jawline to her neck, wet and moist, demanding and tender in a way that set her blood ablaze with lust and want._

_Bonnie's back arched as Damon's hands reached her breasts, giving the perky mounds a squeeze before lowering his lips further and sucking a nipple into his warm mouth._

_He let out a growl and Bonnie could feel his erection through his pants. That's when she noticed he was still fully clothed in his usual dark clothes while she was a naked, wet and writhing mess atop him. Throwing caution to the wind and moving with reckless abandon, Bonnie Bennet pulled his grey v neck off with his help, revealing a golden tanned body she had seen several times before but never had quite this effect. Her lips trembled from the intense desire to have a taste and she could swear her teeth started to chatter from the intense desire._

_Bonnie was suddenly feeling a sense of desperation she never quite felt before as her trembling hands moved to his zipper, lifting herself up just slightly to avoid any unfortunate incident._

_Damon must have felt her fumbling because he lifted himself up just a bit and with the same efficiency with which he had pulped her clothes off, he pulled his pants and briefs down to mid thigh, freeing his aching member to Bonnie who stared mesmerized for a few moments before reaching for his dick to caress and massage him with purposeful strokes._

_Their moans of pleasure rose across the room, reverberating across the walls as the writhed in pleasure, tangled limbs on the couch. She felt too good as Damon grabbed a hold of her ass and squeezed tightly, pulling her close till only the thin fabric of her panties halted penetration. She shuddered in anticipation, fully aware that her panties were soaked now and she needed, more than anything, contact down there. And now._

_He must've felt it because his hands slid down to her panties and with little effort, ripped the flimsy material off._

_Damon's large hands lifted her up just enough and aligned his cock to her dripping entrance. Just the mere ghosting of his cock head at her most private part sent a bout of ecstasy through her and she was almost begging for him now._

_“Bon bon...” Damon whispered, for the first time since they started this runt. “Are you sure?” Uncertainty, protocol and courtesy was not really Damon Salvatore's thing but Bonnie found it endearing in this instance._

_She moaned her response, trying to grind down on him in a way she knew he would understand as affirmative._

_He started to push into her, both of them moaning with every inch that penetrated her wet folds. Slowly she felt herself filling up till he was fully inside her and she let out a yelp of pleasure just as—_

She bolted up right from the couch, sweating and gasping as if the air in the room had been sucked out of the room. It was a dream. Only a dream. Just a dream. Shit!

"What the –" Bonnie whispered to herself, eyes wildly looking around the room. Damon was nowhere to be found and the grimoire she had been reading before falling asleep laid carelessly on the floor by the couch. She was aware it was a dream but her body didn't feel like a dream. She tingled all over and did not have to touch herself to know her panties were soaked with obvious arousal. She groaned as embarrassment washed over her.

She had been fantasizing about Damon Salvatore.

A part of her wondered if that was because it has been five months since she got some quality sex and will settle for anything and anyone –and in this case, Damon was the only available ‘anyone’– or because she was really feeling strange things for him that she knew she shouldn't be feeling.

He was forbidden to her. He was Elena's. She was going to get them home and hand him over safely to her best friend because that is what friends do.

And dammit she was a good friend.

For how much longer can she be a good friend? Well, that was question for the gods.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~©~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Previously, Damon Salvatore would not have as much confidence in his observation but over the past five months of living with only Bonnie, he can confidently say he knew her more than anyone alive –in the real Mystic Falls too–. He knew what she was like when she was happy, sad, angry, frustrated, upset, or when she was just... pretending to be any of those things.

So he knew something was up when Bonnie woke up too early, barely touched breakfast and headed out of the house into God-knows-where. Something was definitely up and he did not feel like prying and asking her what was wrong because he was sure _something_ was wrong.

Day in and day out, she seemed more frustrated than the last and he imagined it had something to do with her not being able to access her magic. Which was surprising because in their first few months in this place, she had tried just as hard and they had both decided to give up on that and wait for their friends on the other side to come up with a plan of escape –mighty good that has done them too.–

He scoffed to himself.

He couldn't quite figure out why Bonnie would go back to trying to find her magic as passionately as she was doing it, without telling him anything about it. He had many conspiracy theories, most prominent of which is that she found a spell she thinks might get them home and did not want to get his hopes up. Surprisingly, that did not get him any more excited than he was on a daily basis and since the little witch was so bent on keeping him in the dark, he was going to humor her and not ask any intrusive questions no matter how difficult that would be for him.

So he settled on what he could do instead of that. Damon Salvatore, over the years, has been good at many things but being a distraction was probably one of the best things he could do –no matter how demeaning it sometimes was–. He was going to distract Bonnie when she got home from wherever she goes all day long. 

In the first few days of the ‘new Bonnie’ era, he had found it eye opening to say the least, about what it felt like being left all alone at home all day. He had roamed the town a few times to find himself a new hobby that did not involve blood or wine and allowed himself to feel bad for all those times he had gone off and left her by her lonesome.

He cooked her dinner every night and endured the extended hours of silence as she flipped through thick grimoires looking for something. Per agreement, the tenth day was drawing near and he would need blood replenishment but he dare not broach the subject. 

In fact, he was starting to miss the witch even as she sat right across from him at the table gobbling down a pasta dinner he had made four hours ago. He couldn't be silent forever and he never really was as self controlled as Stefan was so...

“I'm taking you out tomorrow.” he deadpanned, not caring to ask what her plans were or how that would affect them although he was sure he was going to meet some form of opposition.

“No you're not.” Bonnie says quietly as she raised a brow at him in challenge.

“Yes I am. I found an old cinema in the next town so we're going over all day tomorrow to make ourselves some snacks and binge watch movies till we're tired and come back home.” He explained, still not sounding like he was asking for her opinion.

“I have plans, Damon.” Bonnie says deflated as she looked at her best friend. She wasn't arguing about this and she did not feel like disagreeing with him the more he spoke. Damon Salvatore was a lot of things but being emotional was not one of them, which meant he was an expert at communicating his emotions as though they weren't even there. What kind of best friend would she be if she did not understand the underlying message in his words.

“So do I, bon bon... And it involves you.” He says with a shrug of his shoulders as he took a swig of his wine.

In other words, _I've missed you and I want to spend some time with you tomorrow so please don't deny me this._

“Alright, we'll go watch the movies but on one condition.” She says with a smile at him.

“Anything.” Damon replied without thinking.

“I get to pick the movies, not you.” She chuckled, sticking out her tongue at him and when he grinned his response, she felt that familiar thread inside her coil and tug firmly. She missed him. She missed him so much it should be a crime.

She sat still, wondering why she had let a mere dream –no matter how vividly erotic– get between what they had. She resolved to live shamelessly from now on, ignoring what the dream could mean or what it implied and that means... “hey, Vampires can get in people's head and create whatever visions they want them to see, right?” she asked from across the table.

“Yeah they can. I mean **we** can.” Damon replied absentmindedly. “Why?” he looked up, suspicious. “Don't tell me you want me to make you feel like you're having a good time when–”

“No, silly.” Bonnie cut in. “I'm gonna have a good time just lying in the grass as long as it's with you.” and she meant that.

“Then what?”

“Have you, you know, tried that with me since we have been in here–?”

He didn't wait for her to finish that question. “Absolutely not. I have not tried to compel you or force images in your head. I'd rather you treat me as you _genuinely_ feel rather than to deceive myself and you by getting in the way.” something about the image bothered him. “why do you ask, though?”

“Sometimes I feel I tolerate you too much. Makes me wonder, that's all.” She replied. Better stay as close to the truth as possible, it makes life easier.

“You just like me, Bon bon, better believe it.” He teased with a chuckle.

Dinner continued in that same easy manner, both glad the tension had been thawed away and retired early for bed. In spite of the initial dragging of feet, Bonnie could hardly wait for tomorrow and Damon could literally taste the next day on his tongue as he slipped into oblivion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~©~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You know, I've always wondered how practical this is when I see it in the movies and now I'm convinced it's not practical.” Bonnie commented on the empty cinema hall. If she allowed herself to, she would consider this a date like in the movies where a rich, much older mogul rents out an entire cinema just so he could have some privacy with the barely legal teen. She didn't allow herself that thought, however, because that would mean allowing all the activities that usually follow such grand gestures to follow... The severe bouts of debauchery that plagued her dreams.

She swallowed as she stepped through the doors of the dark cinema and saw Damon, black sleeves rolled up to his elbows, top buttons popped low to reveal flawless skin underneath as he made them popcorn. “Damon Salvatore, what can't you do?” her tone was mildly teasing.

“Nothing, apparently. ” He humored her and for the next 30 minutes they made sure to set up for themselves, copious amounts of popcorn and coke.

Bonnie had picked out the movie selection as Damon fixed up the cinema and finally, they settled at the far back of the cinema and relaxed as the movies started.

“You did this on purpose” Damon whispered every time a typical 90s chick flick title rolled onto the screen, and Bonnie giggled contentedly from where she sat beside him.

In spite of the occasional groan of disgust that came from Damon as one by one, disgusting chick flick after another was seen, the two seemed to be having the time of their lives.

First it was _Thelma and Louise_ , then _When Harry met Sally_ , followed by _Four weddings and a funeral._ Damon thought that was the end of his torture when he saw the title _"Ghost"_ but he was obviously wrong as by noon he found himself plunged into another chick flick called _Muriel's wedding._ Next was _Pretty woman_ and then _Sleepless in Seattle_ and by 3:00pm, he was drained of all emotions when _Reality Bites_ started to play... Something about bites however, was drawing his mind to things he would much rather forget.

Things like blood.

He squirmed in his seat and hoped Bonnie didn't catch on.

By night time, they had watched _Dirty Dancing_ and _Wild Sargasso Sea_ and _Indecent Proposal._

Neither of them commented on the changing genre of the movies but kept making light commentary as they watched. Admittedly, some of the scenes in the movies were too erotic but moving out now would mean the day will come to an end and that was enough motivation to remain seated. 

Bonnie's selection of movies had ended and a new one had followed right after, more explicit, more mature in nature and it was just serving to remind her of the flashes and dreams she has been having lately of the vampire seated beside her. She chose to dwell instead on the fact that even though Damon had grumbled at her choice of movies, he had not, not once during the day, gotten bored enough to sleep on her and that gave her plenty reason to smile like an idiot.

They were in the middle of what would be their last movie for the night when the pager went off. Damon held it up to her to see if she understood what it meant and from the look on her face, she did. She didn't look like she wanted to _discuss_ it however so he didn't broach the topic either, instead quietly watched the few minutes of _Colour of Night_ in companionable silence till the closing credits rolled up.

Bonnie stretched languidly as she rose to her feet, pulling her flower print dress up a few inches on her thigh and Damon kicked himself for noticing –yet again– that Bonnie looked really good in that dress.

“We should do this again.” She commented genuinely as she waited for him to stand too and started walking carefully out of the cinema. Adjusting her sight to the darkness, she managed to pull out from between the chairs and into the pathway between the rows.

“Yeah we should. Or do something as equally fun and since I'm quite good at all things fun, you should probably leave that to me.” He teased, following close behind her.

“Speaking of fun and things you _should_ do, I think it's time for you to feed again.” Bonnie says just as conversationally and heard Damon's steps falter behind her.

“I was hoping you'd forget.” Damon replied in all honesty.

“For how long will that be possible?” Bonnie rolled her eyes over her shoulder at him.

“As long as possible. As long as I can endure.” He responded genuinely.

“Well I set an alarm on the pager for it... And frankly I thought we were past this.”

“We are... It's still not so easy for me, that's all.”

“I want you to do it now.” Bonnie whispered. They were almost at the door and the lights from outside where splashing inside, stopping directly at where her toes started.

“In here? Right _now_?” Damon gasped and for some reason, looked around guiltily.

“Damon, come on, we can stand at the top of the highest building or in the town square and still do it because we are _the only ones here_.” she paused for a bit. “So which vein do you–?” She was about to turn and ask when she felt strong arms wrap around her from behind and before she could stop herself, she was leaning against him, sagging in his arms.

Almost as if rehearsed, she leaned her head back the moment Damon's head dipped low and hissed softly when his lips brushed her neck. It was doing too much to her. After the series of movies they had watched, she was already hot and bothered as it was, adding this close proximity and the feel of Damon's lips on her neck was just driving the nail in deeper and painfully than it already was.

Damon breathed in her scent, picking up the traces of arousal “You're aroused.” he whispered, not really questioning.

“Yes.” Bonnie answered anyway. It wasn't like she could hide that at this point. Not with how certainly Damon had said those words and she knew Damon wasn't one of those clueless teenage boys who would ask her to explain how she felt. She took a shuddering breath when the vampire blew warm air onto her wet sensitive skin and had barely caught her breath when she felt his fangs sink into her skin.

They moaned together, Bonnie's right hand moving up to grab Damon's head, fingers tangling in his hair as she held him in place while his hands moved up and down her sides. 

She wanted more. Much like she had, in the dream, and she wasn't getting it but as though hearing her thoughts, she felt Damon speed them up to the nearest wall and felt the cold wall on her back in contrast to the warmth of his body which had been pressed to her back only moments prior.

Damon was high on something. He was too high, it was driving him crazy. Her blood, mixed with submission and arousal was intoxicating to say the least. Her silent encouragement, her fingers in his hair, egging him on, confirming her trust in him and it was such a rush for him he thought he would lose his footing.

He sped them to the nearest wall and flipped her around to face him. Admittedly, that meant the perforated skin was now to his left hut it was little price to pay for this glorious feeling he was riding on. 

She looked up at him, eyes glazed over with a passion he had never seen on the faces of his victims... Not once, not ever. She looked to be enjoying this as much as he was and not caring that **this is Bonnie,** he hoisted her up off her feet and growled low in his throat when her legs wrapped around his waist instinctively.

Damon's fangs dug into her skin again, moaning as he licked and lapped, grinding into her as she wantonly moved on his arms. 

_He was hard._

Unbearably hard and could smell the sweet aroma of her sex, ready and moist if only he would take it.

He had to stop himself...

And knew he had done the right thing when her arms wrapped around him, stroking his back gently even as her entire body hummed with arousal.

They stood there, Bonnie's legs wrapped around him, for what felt like hours before their breathing calmed down enough and the witch stepped back down onto her feet, albeit a little wobbly.

Damon's hands, which had been groping her butt moved up to her waist and buried his face into her neck. Losing control like that was things you do with strangers or other vampires... Not people you cared about.

The reality of what just happened seemed to weigh on both their minds as they stood there, each drawing strength from the other for what felt like hours before Bonnie whispered; “I'm so hungry I want to have grilled chicken for dinner.”

Damon chuckled, pulling back to look down at her. “Let's pass by the supermarket on our way home and get a full chicken. If it's not too late.”

Bonnie arranged her dress around her as she spoke. “Something tells me I won't be able to sleep tonight anyway so it doesn't matter how late it is.” It was the closest they came to talking about what happened.

Damon looked down in her smiling face and smiled; “Right. We're eating grilled chicken even if we get home at 2:00am.” he agreed as he guided her out of the cinema by her hand.

Both were painfully aware of their respective arousals but resorted to attending to them later. Or not.

“You're not going to avoid me again, are you?” Damon asked as they sped on the highway back to Mystic Falls.

“No I won't.” Bonnie responded with a smile at him from where she sat in the passenger side of the car.

They were going to be fine. No matter what changed between them, that much wouldn't change.


	4. Give and take

**September 1962.**

Damon Salvatore lurked in the shadows every night. He had very little purpose beyond draining unsuspecting girls of their blood in dark alleys as the loud music spurred him on. The year had been a fruitful year for the normal folks;

Trains that operated without a crew on board had been introduced in New York City, trade pacts and agreements are being signed all over between countries. 

Peacekeeping troupes have started coming home as more and more countries were coming to terms with the import of peace but not all was well.

The Dominican republic was caught up in the after effects of a military coup, Portugal had abandoned the UN General Assembly back in January and although John F Kennedy had done his absolute best to keep things on the upside, inducting Navy SEAL teams 1 and 2, and religious heads like Pope John XXIII did their best to regulate the society but that did not stop the disasters. A subway accident claimed 93 lives, and Avalanche killed more than 4000 people in Peru and a mine disaster claimed 299 lives.

The OAS had bombed the French Foreign Ministry and all hell had broken loose.

Major events were scattered across the whole year, both positive and negative and Damon couldn't help but hear the whispers. With faster hearing abilities, he could hear the news from a distance and pick up bits of conversation as well.

There was a lot going on, but Stefan was nowhere to be found. He missed his brother on such days. Days when he felt the urge to talk to someone or at least have the kind of fun that only someone like himself would understand and enjoy. No, he didn't want to have a blood frenzied orgy with Stefan. The last thing he wanted to see was his baby brother's junk, and besides, he was pretty sure if he led Stefan down another blood crazed trip down, Leslie would stick a stake through him and damn the consequences.

He may be mighty self destructive but he didn't think he was at that point where he was looking forward to a sassy smartass blonde lass brutally daggering him to his death. Any other brutal –and enjoyable– thing, he could agree to but not when it involved a dagger, a stake or a pissed off blonde.

He convinced himself that he needed a distraction so that was exactly what he did. He went ahead and found himself a distraction. 

Wine.

When the gulping down of blood started to bore him, he moved to the state of California. He mingled easily, made friends almost as easily as he made enemies but most of all, he associated with the wine literates and Scott Martin was as elite as a man could get in those days. He knowledgeable in most things and not just wine and the fact that he was the sole owner and recent inheritor of a hacienda that grew and harvested grapes to be processed into wine, was just an added bonus. –A very good bonus–.

Even though he was older by several years, he was a friend, if Damon dared to say so.

The years that followed his meeting with Scott was a blur of lights, extravagant attires, balls, debauchery and excessive drinking as well as the kind of conversations that ignited your soul. Scott was perhaps the only friend he had till then but like all good things, that came to an end for the simple reason that it was time to move on from there. After 8 years of not changing in appearance, people were starting to talk and he was getting weary of compelling them.

Once again, he was reminded of his promise to make Stefan's life a living hell for all eternity and how much of a failure he had been in that regard.

**Present Day: 1994 Prison World**

Damon Salvatore sat at the kitchen island, swirling a glass of wine around in the sleek glass, treating the liquid with the delicacy it deserved. Fine California wine always had that effect on him and over the years, he had gathered for himself, a cellar full of those.

Drinking wine alone also was a recipe for thinking and he found himself doing just that. Something was wrong somewhere, he realized. Something has shifted and turned in a way he wasn't sure; but he knew something was different.

Bonnie was probably bent over a grimoire or two in the Salvatore study, looking through some spells and surrounded by candles that refuse to be lit.

It was almost sad the more he thought about it. And the more he thought about it, the more it came to mind that he had been feeding on Bonnie for about a month now. They have been locked up in this prison world with no escape plan, for more than five months now and although Damon had spent the first few months missing Elena, he realized it has been a while since he thought of her with a feeling of nostalgia.

Perhaps it was one of the things that was broken inside him. Because he, Damon Salvatore, no matter how cruel he was, did not just fall in and out of love on a whim. He didn't seduce girls into loving him only to abandon them with their feelings. Hell, he was the one who had fallen for a crazy, manipulative vampire bitch and spent centuries mourning her and praying for a reunion. He was not the type of person to fall in and out of love so easily so what was happening to him?

He gulped down some of his wine, topping up the good stuff as he got pulled into his thoughts.

Elena loved him –no matter how dubious that simple statement was, he would like to hold onto that truth for a while longer– and the girl had made it very clear both in dramatic expressions of love and in extreme actions, that she knew what she felt for him and was standing by him.

Rotten, messed up, she had picked him.

And what had he gone and done? Merely 5 months after they had separated, he had found his emotions veering off in a direction that could only be classified as forbidden and for what, a few milliliters of blood?

Surely he was more expensive than that?

He was gripping the glass too tightly and didn't realize just how tight he was holding it till it shattered in his hand, shards of glass cutting through his palm.

Sighing, unfazed by the mixture of blood and wine that spilled down his palm and onto the kitchen island, he stood carefully and attempted to start cleaning up his mess. The last thing he wanted to do was to alert Bonnie of where his thoughts had been and have the witch worry about him more than she already did. He was a grown man, and he believed he was capable of taking care of at least _this much._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~©~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bonnie had locked herself up in the Salvatore study. A few days ago she had discovered a stash of grimoires at the old cemetery where she usually frequents in hope of finding something. Admittedly, she had hoped she would find her magic and everything will be fine but she hadn't. Instead, she had found several grimoires that she had no other option than to study. When the day came for her to get her powers back, she was going to make sure she was well versed in all manner of spells to the best of her abilities. 

She researched, read, fell asleep atop crusty pages and still woke up to dive right into it. She told herself it was because she needed to study, to make hay while the sun shines, to be as prepared as one can be but deep down she knew it was because of the turmoil she was facing. 

She tried to think about Jeremy in her free moments and the memory of her younger lover kept her smiling for several minutes before her current reality set in once more.

It was an unending battle for her, switching back and forth between feelings of love towards the younger Gilbert, and guilt towards the same boy.

Technically, she tried to tell herself, she had not done anything that could qualify as "cheating" on the boy. The movies had turned her on, not Damon, and perhaps that much was true but the dreams had not stopped. 

She woke up every morning and night, gasping for breath and panties soaked as her dreams got wilder. 

Damon Salvatore was doing things to her in her dream that had never been done to her and she craved it, was curious about it, wanted to know what that really felt like.

Her fingers didn't feel quite as good on her anymore. Not after that night in the dark cinema when she had felt the outline of Damon's hard dick pressed against her. Nothing felt fair to her. The torture, the slow burn, the struggle with the decision of what the right thing to do was.

Nothing was fair.

She'd go to sleep and gasp awake with an ache inside her that could not be curbed no matter how many times a day she rubbed one out.

It wasn't fair.

Bonnie was thinly holding onto the thread of being a good friend to Elena. Perhaps this was part of her punishment. Perhaps losing Elena at the end of this ordeal was a part of her punishment for all the times she had messed with magic, opened doors, closed them, created cracks and practically misused magic for the people she cared about.

Damon was wrong, this was her hell not his.

Feeling like crap once again, she shut the grimoire with a slam and got up from the floor, stepping out of the room. The rest of the house wasn't any more or less lit than the study so she had no trouble.

She found Damon easily and stood at the foot of the stairs looking at the man as he wiped something off the kitchen island.

“You okay?” She asked after a while when it seemed the vampire had still not noticed her presence in the room, which was, in and of itself, a strange occurrence.

“Yeah... Just feeling a little upset but I'm sure that too will pass.” He looked up to smile at her.

“You wanna talk about it?” Bonnie asked as she stepped into the room, walking closer to the other.

“I'm honestly not even sure why I'm so upset about it. I mean, for a vampire, I've had to live through times and places I didn't really want to but have endured anyway so I'm upset that just a few months in here and I'm ready to go crazy.”

“It may have to do with the freedom or lack thereof.” Bonnie tried to reason. “I mean, all those times you were trapped wherever you were trapped, you had a fair amount of freedom. You could drink as much as you wanted and well, indulge in all manner of pleasures, I'm sure. This time, there are very few options available.”

“Yeah that may be true, I guess.” Damon agreed. Never, in all the centuries he had been alive, had he felt so helpless.

“Come on... Let’s step out for a bit. Staying indoors is not doing our heads any good, obviously and we have to come to terms with some things, make some decisions... This place is about to drive me mad.” That was not what she had planned to say when she started to speak and yet, she found herself uttering words she hadn't even fully admitted to herself, to him.

Damon looked at her carefully. Not once in the last five months has she expressed frustration at the circumstances. She was usually the voice of reason, offering silent encouragement in times when he let his guard down and spilled out his thoughts. He usually wasn't one to hold back but he was an expert at keeping the things he wanted to keep private, to himself except when it came to her and their current predicament.

Bonnie never complained. Aside the occasional grumbling about his repeated choice of breakfast, she only expressed her frustration when she forgot some part of a spell she had spent hours trying to memorize and thought she had aced.

“Come on... Let's get out.” Damon dropped the napkin he had been using to clean the wine and shards of glass from the counter top and moved around the kitchen island to grab her hand. “We're going to walk barefooted in the woods and pretend we're in some sort of romantic comedy movie where walking barefoot in nature is the most magical thing that ever happened to us even though we both know that is absolute crap.”

Bonnie allowed herself to be pulled out the door, not bothering with slippers. If she was going to be honest with herself, the thought of walking barefoot in the woods was a very tantalizing proposal.

She felt her mood start to lift already. With one stray suggestion that looked like it didn't take much effort, Damon managed to lift up her mood just like that.

She hopped onto his back without warning, nearly toppling them both over and Damon's hands came up to hold onto her legs around himself instinctively to keep her in place.

“I wanna feel the wind, Damon... Take my mind off everything for a while.” She mumbled as she bounced on his back briefly and excitedly.

“You better keep your eyes open then.” Damon whispered with a chuckle before speeding off into the woods.

A minute, two minutes later and he could hear her light laughter from behind him. It didn't matter to him how long that laughter was going to last or how far her current joy was going to carry her but he was willing to lose himself in the moment like she was. If he allowed himself to, he could feel every dry leaf beneath his feet even as he whooshed past them with his vampire speed and could hear the chitty chatter of insects from miles away.

He stopped only when he came to the edge of the woods and had barely stopped when Bonnie hopped off his back and onto her own feet. She was still laughing, throwing her arms around her in careless abandon as she soaked in the sun and rode high on the euphoria she was feeling.

Damon looked around, noticing they were definitely no longer in Mystic Falls. He looked down at his feet then at hers, noticing for the first time that she was scantily clad in shorts and a baggy T-shirt, definitely not the kind of get up that was "allowed" in human society, especially on a trip outside town.

Something about it triggered laughter out of him as he dropped down onto the ground. It was going to be a bloody trip going back home barefoot but suddenly, he didn't feel like this place was the most suffocating place he has ever been.

Bonnie looked like she was having a prolonged orgasm. Like several orgasms blended into one gloriously long one. Her joy didn't look like it was coming down soon and with her eyes closed, arms stretched out wide as she soaked in nature, Damon thought she looked right at home. Bonnie looked like the custodian of nature herself and silently, he cursed whoever was keeping her magic from her.

The only thing missing from this vision was the nudity and the magic and Damon was pretty sure he had the kind of eye for things like that and humbled, he once again thought about what he could or would do without Bonnie here. Earlier, he had thought he was cheering _**her**_ up by suggesting they leave the house but in a typical fashion, she had cheered him up. Effortlessly.

He imagined he would have daggered himself in the first month if he had been alone in this place or given himself up to the sun.

“Should we go on a picnic tomorrow?” Damon asked from his place on the ground and Bonnie turned sharply to face him, her smile so bright, almost as if she had not realized he was there and Damon felt his heart clench. He was overwhelmed with a strong desire to go home, just like that and out of nowhere. He wanted, for some strange reason, to find out if this _thing_ between them, this ease, this comfort, this smoothie of confounding emotions that was carelessly erupting between them on a regular basis was only happening because they were the only ones on the earth –Literally–, or if there was more to it. He wanted to know if she would still have the power to churn his insides in this manner if they were with people.... Other people and scarily, he figured deep down, that she'd still be able to.

“Shall we?” Bonnie chuckled. The wind in the hair, her eyes gathering tears because Damon was cutting through the landscape too fast, that feeling was so exhilarating she was sure she could ride on this particular tide for weeks. It felt to her like the first time she did magic, the initial fear, the terror, and finally the thrill that came with knowing she could do just about anything if she wanted.

“Yeah.” He clapped his palms together, brushing the dirt particles off them. “I'm thinking you can pick the location and I'll make us some smoothies and salads. We should stay out all day and _for once,_ enjoy the eclipse as it rolls by.”

“Is this a date?” Bonnie was surprised she could still joke so easily about things like this considering the turmoil she had been in just a few minutes prior.

“Yes, it's a date.” Damon agreed because, he thought, what the hell? He was going to lose himself in this moment and damn the consequences.

“I should go shopping for a pretty picnic dress.” Bonnie chuckled as she swivelled around on her feet, still unable to shake the joy off. Not that she was trying.

“I had no idea there was a kind of dress called a picnic dress. From what I know, you girls wear practically anything for picnics.”

“Yes... The girls who don't have dates. When going on a date, you need to put some _effort_ into what you wear.” She teased, wiggling her brows.

“Yeah, I'm sure it means your date has to put some _effort_ into taking it off after the date.”

“Yeah well... Who said the clothes always come off.” She wiggled her brows and held Damon's gaze, challenging him to disagree.

He didn't. Instead, he coughed out a laugh as he stood to his feet and reached for her hand.

“If we intend to get home today, we might as well start heading back now. I do not intend to carry your heavy body on my back all the way back.” Damon grumbled in mock pain.

“Now that you mention it, I think you've been letting yourself go lately. I mean, you don't exercise so of course you'll grow tired at some point. You need to start working out. Let's start you up on some jogging.” She chuckled, easily falling into stride with him as they headed back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a little short as compared to the others before it but I had to stop myself otherwise I was gonna blend 2 chapters worth into one...
> 
> Thank you for reading.


	5. Tension

Neither one of them knew at exactly what point things changed and the decision was made but they realized that it had been made. Perhaps it happened on the first barefoot step they took back home... Or somewhere around when they crossed the border into Beacon Hills... Or perhaps it happened as Damon had groaned and tossed her giggling self over his shoulder and whooshed them the rest of the way home. Neither knew, but it became obvious to them that something really has changed in the hours that followed.

Bonnie's entire body was alit. She wanted to think it was because of the out of town trip they had taken but something had changed. She caught Damon staring at her and they both just stared for a while before he smiled wistfully and looked away.

She felt her body light up from her toes right to the tips of her hair, just with a look from him and she cursed this place. She cursed this place, denying her of her pleasures and giving her only uncertainty. 

Seeing what she wanted and knowing she couldn't have it, forbidding her to be greedy about her best friend's boyfriend. 

It was enough to drive anyone mad.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~©~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Wait...what's with your hair?” Bonnie asked, brows furrowed in confusion when she saw Damon come downstairs later that evening after his bath. His hair looked considerably longer and a little out of place and she wondered how come she hadn't noticed it at all till now. Her mind came up with stories about why. Perhaps he kept it well, or she had been more preoccupied than she thought she was, all things considered.

Damon knew exactly what she was referring to so didn't even bother with his usual act of playing dumb. “It's too grown and I'm feeling quite lazy this month to cut it.” He offered unapologetically, not really caring as he run his hands through his wild black hair. Even his fingers communicated to him how bushy it really was.

“You're joking.” Bonnie scoffed disbelievingly. _Of all the things._

“About what?” This time, he looked at her curiously, trying to figure out what she meant.

“Your hair _grows_? But you're a vampire. Aren't you supposed to be dead all round?” Her book was settled facedown on the table as she found a more stimulating situation for her brain in this conversation.

“Well, technically, yes. But then again, I eat human food and even though that doesn't have the same effect it does on humans, it has _some_ effect.” Damon tried to explain. Frankly, in the first few years after his death, he had wondered about the same thing but seeing as everyone was going through it and he wasn't the odd one out, he just resigned himself to it. Besides, what harm could a few haircuts and trips to the saloon cause him? Absolutely none. “Some of the effects just happen to be that my hair grows.” He shrugged nonchalantly.

“So you cut your hair every month.” It was not really a question and it didn't sound like one.

But Damon answered anyway. “Yes, and I shave my... Nether regions.” He added his usual doze of up–to–no–good ness to lighten the mood, complementing the statement with a teasing wiggle of his brows and a wink.

“That's TMI, Damon.” Bonnie admonished even as she felt her face heat up. Oh dear Lord, she was really starting to appreciate her dark skin. Just imagine all the teasing she would be subjected to, if Damon knew the effect his words had on her these days, since that time in the cinema... And oh, just _being_ with him sometimes had the same amount of exhilarating effect on her.

“What's TMI about shaving around the places that need shaving?” Damon scoffed at her in his usual aloof tone as he pulled a glass from the shelf and poured himself a brandy, downing the liquid at once, effortlessly. He poured himself another glass and plopped down on the seat beside her.

“It's just...” Bonnie stammered, then cleared her throat guiltily and when she felt him shift beside her, she cursed inwardly because she knew even her dark skin was not going to save her from what was coming next. She contemplated escaping the room but thought it unwise as she was sure Damon Salvatore would never let her live that one down.

“Your imagination is running wild, isn't it?” His humor was apparent.

“No, you dork.” She replied weakly, then groaned. She hadn't even managed to convince herself, let alone Damon. She considered changing the subject to what they would have for dinner but Damon beat her to it.

“Oh bon bon, you're just thinking about...”

“Don't be a dick, I'm not think—” Her words caught in her throat. She had turned around to face him so she could use the last strand of dignity left to tell him off but there she sat, eyes locked on his, drowning in the blue depths of his eyes and oohh.... She never noticed how his eyes sparkled literally. The strands in them, she wondered if they were always there or if she was imagining them.

He had been teasing... The usual banter between them to pass the time and as was usual these days, they had found themselves right here. His glass paused on its way to his lips just as Bonnie stopped talking and they both froze in place, for a brief moment, he wondered what she could see on his face. He wondered if she could see how much he was restraining himself in this moment... He wished to pull himself away, to step back, but somehow, that did not feel like an option either.

Eyes locked on hers, watching the curiosity and fascination dance around in her ardent orbs and watching himself get hypnotized by the mere sight. Over the centuries, he had watched many women fall for him, watched as they literally swooned from afar and in his arms but none _–absolutely none–_ came close to seeing Bonnie Bennet in this moment. Sensing movement, his eyes immediately traveled downward to catch her as she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth.

Damon growled. Involuntarily and uncontrollably. “Fucking tease.”

She blinked. Once. Twice. Then snapped out of it. Before she could say something that would make things awkward, Damon, once again, came to the rescue.

“I mean, I know I'm hot and irresistible but keep your panties on, will you, bon bon.” 

“You wish.” She didn't know her voice could sound so breathy, so authentically aroused.

She was going to be the death of him, Damon concluded as he responded to that. “Actually, I don't. I'd much prefer you naked. Imagining it, I imagine, is not up to par with the real thing.” with just the right amount of teasing in his tone to make it seem like a joke if she wanted to thread on careful grounds.

“You pig.” apparently she didn't.

“Yep!” There was absolutely no point in denying that right now so Damon didn't. “And right now, this pig is going to make you a casserole for dinner so I'd suggest you go up for a bath before I lose the battle with myself and have _you_ for dinner instead.”

“Why thank you for your consideration.” Bonnie stood up and forced a smile onto her features. She went for a casual air as she run her palm on his back before _casually_ walking up the stairs.

Her knees were trembling by the time she got to her room and once her door shut behind her, nothing could stop her from sagging against it.

She breathed deeply for several minutes and tried not to think of the man downstairs. She had felt his eyes on her back with every step she had taken out of the room and up the stairs and frankly wasn't sure what to make of that. She wondered, chin lowered on her pulled up knees, how much more she could take of this palpable tension before she caved, and wondered if Damon felt even half as bothered as she did.

She remembered his groan and couldn't tell if it was from frustration or anger but something about the words _fucking tease_ made her feel so good.

Innuendos were a norm in Damon Salvatore's speech but plainly cussing out loud wasn't a usual. She always thought it had to do with the era in which he was born. No matter what they did and how many heads they popped, –literally– Vampires never seem to get over the archaic speech and mannerisms and she imagined foul language was frowned upon by **The High and Mighty Society of 1921.**

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~©~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Come on, you're the one who agreed to the picnic.” Damon grumbled playfully as he set the basket of fruits and salads in the back of his car, acutely aware of Bonnie standing behind him. She had been like that all morning and the night before, seemingly wanting to either do or say something but consistently talking herself out of it. It made him curious as to what she could possibly be thinking about and why she was suddenly so unsure... And somewhat girly about it.

It was unusual and for a split second, he wondered if he had gone too far with his words last night and they have finally reached _the awkward phase._

“I'm not denying that.” Bonnie answered calmly, shuffling her feet for a bit. She had been aware that he was appraising her carefully but she couldn't help it. She had to decide whether to throw caution to the wind and go with the flow of whatever was going on between them, or to keep holding back.

“But?” Damon asked as he shut the door and turned to her, brows raised in question.

“No buts.” Bonnie chuckled as she stepped out of the house. She didn't bother locking up because, well what was the point of that in this place? “Instead, remind me that I need to buy a few things at the shop on our way back.”

“Sure.” Damon agreed and held the car door open for her.

The rest of the afternoon, they spent sprawled out on the grass by the creek. Damon had "discovered" the perfect site for a picnic and Bonnie had, as promised, worn a flowery pattern dress. 

By the time the eclipse rolled by, her head was on his stomach as they both sprawled out on the blanket, shoving piece by piece of neatly diced fruit into their mouths.

“Hey... I think I read somewhere that looking directly at an eclipse can damage eyesight.” Bonnie mumbled. She quite liked this, if she would be honest with herself. She liked how it felt using him as a pillow and how awfully _private_ the moment felt. Aside the fact that they were all alone, the darkness caused by the eclipse was enough to make her jittery. For a brief moment, she closed her eyes and pictured the kind of naughtiness that would ensure if they were in the midst of people and had the freedom to do anything they wished.

“Yeah well, if that's true, you should be blind by now. You've been staring at the darn thing for 5 months now. **Every day** , Bonnie, without fail.” Damon commented, shoving the last of his fruit into his mouth and tucking his arm behind his head which elevated his neck further and he had a better look at her. Even in the dark, he could make out the outline of her face, her eyes brightly shining alongside her teeth. He was mesmerized.

“Yeah well, I'm trying to figure out something that's why.” Bonnie answered, chuckling as she turned onto her side. She was facing him now from her place on his belly and smiled up at him.

Before he could stop himself, his free hand lifted off the ground and carefully run through her short, thick hair. His hands froze for a moment –or two– as they both went silent. He didn't pull his hand back and she said nothing, instead kept her eyes on him till the eclipse started to clear and their faces became clear.

They seemed to communicate silently because after a while, his fingers resumed their movement in her hair and she just smiled in response. “Wanna talk about it?” Damon asked after several minutes of silence.

“I'm not sure, really. I feel like there are some answers that can be found in the eclipse.” She mumbled. “Don't laugh at me but–”

“I won't... So tell me.” Damon cut in and smiled back when Bonnie responded to his words with a smile of her own.

“You know Bennet witches usually draw our magic from nature and natural elements, right?” It wasn't really a question and not expecting Damon to answer that, she continued. “Well, an eclipse can be considered one of the severe forms of nature. Imagine all the magic that can be harnessed from the eclipse.” she almost sounded lustful.

“Doesn't that require you having your magic? Or you think you can find a spell that will wake up your magic if you use the eclipse to JumpStart it?” Damon asked, genuinely curious and a tad excited. His motives for being excited, he resolved to think about them later.

“Yeah that's why I've been going through the grimoires but there isn't much information on how to get your magic back once you've personally run it dry. There were a few instances of people losing their power because of misuse and usage against nature in my Gram's diary that I found a few months ago but I've not really used my magic against nature and I don't think the ancestors took it from me as punishment. I overused it on a regular. ” She sighed.

“It's the town you find yourself in, not you. Evil just finds it's way into town no matter how still and quiet you sit.” Damon shifted to get comfortable then attempted to get her mind off her current predicament, albeit a little poorly executed. “Mystic Falls reminds me of a town I came across several years back when I was travelling. I think the name was Beacon Hills. Terrible place to live, really.” He faked a shiver.

“Why? Were vampires floating around there too?” Bonnie asked, curious. It felt nice to talk with Damon about his trips and life in other cities, she had come to realize in their first month here when he had casually spoken about his dalliances in Spain in 1957.

“No. Strangely, that was probably the only place I went to that didn't have any creatures of the night.”

“So what kind of trouble did they have?” She turned around excitedly and placed her chin on folded arms on his chest.

“Our mortal enemies. They seemed to be overflowing with werewolves. The Stefan kind of werewolves.” he chuckled.

“What, they have werewolf rippers too?”

“No, I don't mean my baby brother's alter ego. I mean, his vanilla state. No harm to humans, no harm to anyone... I think they even had a policy against harming animals.”

“I don't imagine you had a fun stay there if you weren't allowed to be reckless.”

“Bon bon... You speak as if you don't know me. Rules are there to be broken, after all. I'm only glad I was never bitten by any of them, now that I think of it. It would have been fatal and I would have had no cure whatsoever. ” He mused. “Besides, they didn't have as much structure as we do in Mystic Falls, founding families and all. I think they just had several wolf packs but the Hales were the most dominant. I doubt if the local police knew about them. They were quite discreet.”

“So you made friends.” Bonnie chuckled.

“I wouldn't say friend but I did have a bit of fun with a few of them. Martin Hale was quite the troublesome youth and I seem to have a magnet that draws the lot to myself so you can just imagine the rest.” Damon chuckled as he got lost in his memories. Some of those, truly, were worth their weight in gold. He imagined Martin would either be quite old by now or dead. From what he knew of the Hales, long life was a very usual thing for them, some going as long as five centuries before passing on naturally but the level of trouble they had to fend off on a regular basis usually ended their lives at peak length.

“Wait, if the werewolves weren't terrorizing the town, who was?”

“All manner of things. Other weres, packs that didn't know their place, those that didn't have the same conduct as the Hales and well, supernatural creatures almost always find their way there.”

“Like vampires. ” she supplied helpfully.

“Like vampires. ” Damon agreed. “It was a bloodbath every month, give or take. Gruesome deaths, body counts were skyrocketing... Terrible.”

“And no one......

The conversation continued seamlessly for hours, neither noticing that the sun was hanging low in the sky till it was almost dark.

For a few hours, Bonnie had been innocently interested in Damon, unlike the usual kind of interest she had these days and she had quite enjoyed the break. They continued in casual chatter as they packed up their stuff into the car. In spite of the easy conversation, Damon drove to the mart and parked, reminding Bonnie of her plan to drop by there on their way back home.

She dashed through the store. After regular trips over the last few months, she knew exactly where to go to, to get the supplies she needed and considering there was no queue up front, she was out of the shop in less than five minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~©~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You wanna take a bath first or not?” Bonnie asked when they got into the house and after they had washed the plates and utensils together.

“First?” Damon was sure he had missed something as he quirked a brow at her, dabbing his wet palms with one of the kitchen napkins.

“Yeah.” Bonnie says nonchalantly, not looking up from the cups which she was obsessively arranging in descending order by size. “I'm going to give you a hair cut.” She deadpanned then finally lifted her head to look at him boldly.

“You're joking.” The words were out before Damon could stop them and even though he hoped he was right, something in his gut _assured_ him that this was one of the times when he was wrong.

“Nope. I'm pretty sure I'm being serious right now.” Bonnie had gotten her usual confidence back. Now that she had finally said what she had been thinking since she had noticed his bushy hair the day before, she felt like she could finally breathe. Cutting someone's hair always seemed like quite an intimate affair and additional fact that she was excited about having her fingers in his hair again, made her feel a tad guilty. She hadn't been able to forget the texture and feel of those strands as he had drunk from her wrist right where they stood and now, she was shamelessly about to project her fantasies onto the unsuspecting man.

“But–” Damon protested weakly.

“I got everything I'm going to need from the mart.” Bonnie supplied with a coy grin as she moved to the sitting room for the bag that had the supplies and emptied its contents onto the kitchen island.

“That's what–?” Damon was pointing at the supplies... Hair clipper, scissors, blade, gel, pins and stuff in cans that had him wondering what she was up to.

“Yes. That's what I went for when we went there tonight. In any case, I can give you two options concerning your hair.” Bonnie assumed a professional tone as she spoke but by the end of that statement, she was back to her usual self.

It seemed to work on Damon as, after a long minute of silence, he muttered; “I'm listening.”

“One, you grow it really long and keep it sexily tied up like the Mexican ranchmen... You know, or like how Roman Reigns wears his.” Bonnie was being shameless but she wasn't about to deny herself this little pleasure.

“Okay...” He wondered where this was leading and had to bite the inside of his mouth to keep from uttering the dirty words that were threatening to spill out any moment now.

“Or two, you keep it short and curly like Daniel Sharman does his.” Bonnie finished with a smile she hoped was sweet.

“Is there an option to keep it like Damon Salvatore has been keeping it for... His entire life?” He couldn't hide his humor now. It was particularly funny because if anyone else had suggested a hair change, he would have flipped.

“Of course not.” Bonnie responded quickly, acting scandalized by the mere possibility of that.

“I figured as much but I don't think curly hair would look good on me.” Never in all his life has he tried that.

“Let me be the judge of that.” Bonnie didn't relent. “And before you ask, I'm saying this as literally the _only_ one who sees you, although you'd look good anyhow, I think I'm a shareholder in your looks at this point."

Damon wasn't about to argue with her over a haircut so he decided, a little too easily and shifted onto more curious matters. “So that's the kind of thing you fantasize about...”

“Yes.” Bonnie didn't see the point of denying it anymore as she looked up at Damon squarely, eyes almost challenging him to make a comment about that.

“Well, since it takes too much dedication to grow long hair, I guess I'll have to be your **_Juan Reyes_** some other time.”

Bonnie nearly choked at his words, a grin breaking out on her face. “Is that an agreement from you?”

“You didn't think i was about to say no to you, did you? In any case, you're right, we're the only ones here so i wont have to explain to anyone else why I'm suddenly sporting a curly hairdo. You can cut it now so the water will wash off any of the strands that would stick to my skin after the cut.”

“Okay!” Bonnie clapped, a little too excited as she steered Damon out onto the back porch. She rushed back in to gather the supplies, a table and a high kitchen stool. “Come on, sit.” She patted the chair with the same amount of excitement and Damon obliged instantly.

With his hair leaned back and in a position he would consider uncomfortable, Bonnie proceeded to wash Damon's hair with shampoo after shampoo, making comments every now and then about why he needed that in his hair and how much it was going to help his hair mass. He just closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax. He had committed himself to this and might as well enjoy the perks like having Bonnie's long, slender fingers running through his hair, massaging the scalp.

When she had disposed off the water, she dried his hair with a towel, maintaining a healthy amount of dampness, she applied leave–in oil before she got to cutting. Starting at the edges, she clipped away, fading the sides just a bit before setting his hair with rollers.

She chuckled as Damon grumbled about being made into a girl, preened. He'd been cutting his hair for all these years and never had he taken so much time to cut it. There was no need to wash the darn thing with shampoo and whatnots and even the cutting process seemed fancier than he was used to but curling... Now that was a totally new ballgame. Oh, Bonnie was so lucky she really was the only one who was going to see him, otherwise there would be some hell to pay if this turned out bad.

It didn't.

More than an hour after he sat down, Bonnie shoved a mirror in his face and he had to do a double take. No, he didn't get any more handsome than he already was –because in as much as men would like to deceive themselves, their hair hardly adds to their beauty. Perhaps their appeal, but not their beauty – but he liked how well the curls settled on his head. They weren't awfully obvious and he liked that. Imagine walking around looking like _Gu Jun Pyo._ That would be a travesty.

“Is this the way you fantasized it?” He asked, teasing as he turned around to look at her.

“Exactly the way I hoped it would turn out.” Bonnie grinned, proud of herself as she run her fingers through Damon's new curls. “Exactly.”

“Go take a shower, I'll clean up here and do the same.” Damon advised as he stood up, already getting to it quickly. He noticed when she had gone inside and groaned. He was starting to wonder if he was in his andropause. It was crazy how he could be friendly one moment and shift to wanting to tear that dress off her the next.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~©~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“That's not true.” Bonnie giggled from where she sat on the couch with Damon. They had finished with dinner a few minutes ago and she had settled on reading a story book she had found in one of the rooms but of course, Damon had to go and make it weird by teasing her preferences.

“Yes, it is. I mean, I understand your frustration. You've been here for five and a half months and I imagine in your short life, that must feel like an eternity for you.” He says casually, managing to hide the teasing tint in his voice just enough as he lifted her feet into his lap and started to absentmindedly give her a foot massage.

“It does, but not in the way that you think.” Bonnie sighed. Oh she liked how his fingers felt on her feet... She imagined how they would feel on other parts of her anatomy if they felt _this_ good on her feet.

“Oh do enlighten me.” Damon didn't look up but shut his eyes firmly when he heard her moan from beside him. “I'm choosing to blame the _Mills and Boon_.” he tried for casual speech but even that did not sound like it normally did.

“I dunno how to say it.” Bonnie was biting her lip, the book forgotten as she revelled in the feel of his fingers which had now moved up to her calf.

“Bon bon, it's me.”

“Yeah...” she replied breathily. “Yes you... And me... On this couch... I had a very vivid dream a while back.” 

Damon's head snapped around to look at her. He wanted to ask why she was telling him this now but chose his usual way of dealing with confusing situations. “Most importantly, was I any good?”

“You were pretty damn good.” Bonnie's voice was determined to not come back from its husky haven, it seemed.

He wasn't sure when he made the decision and wasn't sure how he was going to go on from this point on. Damon Salvatore wasn't sure about anything except the fact that he was tired of being sure, tired of restraining himself and tired of holding back when this was eating him up. He pulled her close, sharply by her ankles so she sat right beside him with her legs over his lap.

“Damon...” she whispered softly, uncertainly.

“You're my only friend in the world, bon bon... This craziness has to stop. I want to go home. The last thing I want to do is to jeopardize our friendship because that would be a big shame.” He was done speaking in parables, done speaking in circles. It was time they addressed the tension that had been building up between them in plain words.

“Right.” Bonnie pulled her ankles from his grip and stood up, forcing a smile onto her face. She hadn't known she would be _this_ disappointed in this moment when Damon of all people was being the voice of reason and she hated her petulant thoughts. “I should go to sleep. Good night, Damon.” she didn't wait for a response as she quickly exited the room, heading up the stairs.

Damon sat there in a dilemma, unsure what to do. A part of him agreed that this was the right thing to do, Bonnie would thank him in the morning. The other part of him could not bring himself to watch her go, feeling like that. He sped after her, cutting her progress when he stood on the step above hers. “Don't misunderstand me. I want you.” He swallowed. “I've wanted you for a long time now it's almost unbearable but I'm afraid giving into this would be bad for both of us and I don't —” 

Bonnie had reached up for him and pulled his lips smack to hers, cutting off his words. She'd like to say she didn't know what she was thinking but she knew. She was well aware of what she was doing and hearing Damon confess to wanting her just as much as she did, was all she needed. She didn't know if they can go back home or if they ever will but she resolved to cross that bridge when she got to it.

Damon stood lax for a brief moment before his arms wrapped around her, pulling her close to himself as his lips moved on hers. 

The kiss started slow, carefully, lips moving against each other almost shyly, then Damon was licking the seam of her lips, begging entry and Bonnie obliged happily, parting her lips to allow his tongue entrance. They moaned simultaneously when his tongue invaded her mouth and Bonnie's fingers found their way into Damon's new curls to card though them and grab a fistful.

He must have taken that as a signal because the kiss became desperate, his hand holding her close, pushing her into the rail as he fed on her.

Bonnie was in ecstasy from just a kiss.

When they pulled back for air, Damon leaned his forehead against hers, breathing heavily. “Bon...” as if saying her name would snap him out of this, as if he feared that would happen.

She smiled, content as she kissed him again, a brief kiss, telling him she was okay with whatever he wanted to do, whatever he was trying not to do.

“I want you...”

And that was all the probing Damon needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will most likely contain an insane amount of smut so a pre-warning of sorts.


	6. Intense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonnie and Damon succumb to their desires...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING: _Very smutty chapter._**
> 
> It is practically PWP as a stand alone... But yeah. Lots of sex.

All thoughts of restraint left Damon's mind the moment he heard those words coming from her. He sped them eagerly up the stairs to his room. He was overcome with the intense desire to have her in _his_ bed. The only light in the room came from the luminous glow of the moon through the windows.

Damon stood so close to her that their chests were nearly touching. He slowly brought up a hand and lightly run it down the right side of her face, gently brushing her hair out of the way. He slowly moved in and kissed her first on the right cheek, then the forehead, then down to the left. He then kissed her mouth oh so gently, barely fluttering his lips against her own. Their eyes close, the sensation, as his lips play gently across hers. 

Damon then took a step back and stared down into her face. He then slowly let his hands trail down from her face to her shoulders, then down the length of her arms until he reached her hands. He brought them both up to his mouth and kissed each finger and knuckle lovingly. When he begun to pull off her shirt, Bonnie chuckled and helped. 

Instead of rushing things and trying to get her as naked as he can as fast as he can, he stopped, and gently started kissing her shoulders and arms. He then moved to her chest and down to her belly as he knelt on the floor. He then unbuttoned her shorts and slid them to the floor so she can step out of them; again he paused and started kissing her legs, from her upper thighs to her ankles, reveling in how loudly the blood in her veins thumped in his ears.

With Bonnie standing there in nothing but her bra and panties, he slowly stood back up ,kissing all the way up. As if on prior agreement, Bonnie reciprocates the slow stripping Damon had given her, scattering kisses all over every inch of skin she exposed till he was standing only in his boxer, and stood to her feet.

The sexual tension was excruciating, both standing there kissing passionately with only one layer of fabric separating them. Damon slowly edged Bonnie back to the bed, never breaking the lip contact and lowered her to a sitting position on it. He squats in front of her and while kissing her deeply, unclasped her bra with his right hand, slowly kissing down her body and as he removed her bra. 

Sitting back on his heels, he admired the view before him, watching the rise and fall of per perky tits with every breath she took and all he could think about was how perfect they were, firm with her aroused nipples poking out, as though in a silent plea.

Unable to resist anymore he leaned in and pressed first a tentative kiss to her breast, starting at the tops of her breasts, then down the left side and around the bottom. 

Finally, he reached the end of his circuit, and gently trailed down the right breast until he is hovering over her nipple. He exhaled softly, feeling Bonnie shiver a bit at the feel of his warm breathe as it hit her sensitive nipple, then he slowly kisses around the areola and finally gave her nipple a suck and a bit of a nibble. He moved in another trail of kisses to her left breast and repeated the same procedure. 

Judging from the sounds she made, Damon expected her to get demanding very soon so he leaned back, grabbing her by her calf's and lifting her feet up off the ground and onto the bed, the action causing her to fall back almost in a form of surrender.

Damon wasted no time in removing her panties, baring her pussy to his gaze. She was dripping wet, soaked though her panties which he discarded somewhere in the room, her scent wafting through her nostrils dangerously. Damon shifts so he was kneeling between her sprawled out legs and then let her watch as his eyes slowly travel down the length of her body. 

Bonnie shivered, loving the animalistic look that flashed through his eyes as he explored each part of her body.

Damon slowly lowered his head and begun licking and kissing her upper pelvic area, tracing the outline of her trimmed pubic mound with his tongue. He then slowly moves down to her inner right thigh and switches over to her left soon after. He then begun to move ever closer to her glistening pussy, inhaling and savoring the scents of her arousal. He licked the extreme edges of her genital area and drew ever tighter circles until he felt her shudder and gasp. 

Damon's hands come up to spread her beautiful labia, slowly licking from the back all the way to the front of her pussy gently nudging her clitoris as he extracts his tongue. He does this same lick again and again, and then alternates and goes from front to back. 

Bonnie thought she was going to die from the slow torture she was being subjected to wanting to feel his tongue on her clitoris, and yet he refused to do it! She silently cursed him for tormenting her this much but revelled in this pleasure that was only hers. Never, has she been made to feel like this by anyone. Never. She imagined older lovers really were experienced lovers.

This line of thought was instantly interrupted as she felt it, his soft, warm tongue as he slowly and gently run it around her clitoris. 

Bonnie felt like she was about to explode, as if every nerve in her body had come alive under Damon's skilled hands and tongue and when he pushed two finger inside her, nothing could have stopped the scream of pleasure that tore through her.

Damon chuckled with his mouth still latched onto her clitoris, the sound causing vibrations onside her and Bonnie thought the time to revel in sensations was over as she begun to rock her pelvis back and forth, subconsciously fucking his mouth with her pussy. Her legs start to tighten around his head, ever so gently and then more forcefully. 

She felt her orgasm start to build and something about the feeling scared her. It threatened to rip through her like a tsunami and she was terrified but her body must have hit the self destruct button because she had no care as her hips thrust up against his tongue and fingers. Damon's fingers were doing a sensual dance inside her, beckoning her to her doom and just like that, without warning, a scream tore past her.

She hadn't realized when he had removed his mouth from her clitoris until she felt his fangs dig into the vein at her groin. Her orgasm was beyond her, causing her to squirt for the first time in her life, thrashing carelessly on the bed as Damon drunk from her.

It lasted longer than she thought was normal, dragging on and on till she thought she was going to pass out but Damon held her hips in place firmly, pulling back after what felt like hours, his face coated with her juices, glittering in the moonlight and looking like a fucking gold medalist.

He kept his eyes on her, watching as her entire body trembled with a foreign force, churning her insides till she had to bring her knees up to her chest and roll onto her sides in hopes that the aftershocks would subside.

Bonnie hadn't known she was crying till he was beside her on the bed, the pads of his thumbs brushing tears off her cheeks.

“Did I hurt you?” He whispered softly, a little uncertain.

“Hell no.” She quickly rebutted. “I. Just. This. Is. The. Most. Intense. Orgasm... I...” She couldn't make her words flow but she imagined Damon understood what she meant because his smile was back on his face. “I need a minute to catch my breath.” she managed after a while, feeling like an amateur, which she wasn't.

Damon pressed kisses on her arms to pass the time and when he felt the tremors go down, he hooked a finger down her chin to pull her face up and pressed a kiss smack to her lips. Bonnie could smell it, her own juices were collected all around Damon's mouth, and surprisingly instead of turning her off, it was even more arousing. They kissed passionately, practically climbing into each other's mouths tongues first. 

Sometime during the kiss, she had rolled back onto her back and Damon had shirked his boxer briefs off and placed himself between her legs. He had been so aroused by that foreplay he was throbbing to the point of pain. Carefully, exercising more control than he had ever had to with anyone, he slowly inched his thick, hard cock into her warm and well lubricated pussy on a groan. Inch by inch he pushed into her till he bottomed out.

“Fuckk...” Bonnie couldn't help but moan as he filled her up. She felt like he was touching her everywhere. 

Was he taken by Bonnie's cussing? Yes. But not as much as he was when she grabbed his ass in both hands and begun to drive herself upward onto his dick as fast as she can. “fuck.... Fuck me.... Shit... Faster baby... Fuck me hard.”

He may have _some_ control but not enough, because he lost all thought of going slow and being kind and responds to her urging by plowing into her as hard and as fast as he can. They became a pair of sweating moaning animals, with Damon trying to go ever deeper and Bonnie trying to get him to go ever deeper. Their moans resounded off the walls, echoing back to them in confirmation of what they were doing.

No thoughts of right or wrong came, only the pleasure that their bodies sought.

Bonnie spasmed under him once more, a second orgasm splitting through her as he fucked her ruthlessly, her walls clenching around his cock and for a while, Damon had to remain still as she rode out her orgasm.

On second thought, he pulled out of her with an audible pop and turned her over onto her belly. He starts at her ass and kisses his way up her back. Nibbling and licking the back of her neck. His mouth remained at her neck as he pushed a pillow beneath her hips to prop her up. Simultaneously, he drove his cock into her as his fangs dug into the skin at her neck, causing her to gasp and cry for more. Slowly, he drove into her, in pace with the sucking at her neck till he wanted more... Needed more... His orgasm prompting him.

He knelt behind her, slapping her ass before he grabbed her hips and started fucking into her. Her groans were heard with every slap of his hips against her ass and tempted, feeling bolder than he has ever felt, his finger probed her puckered asshole.

Bonnie didn't stiffen like he had expected her to, perhaps too lost in pleasure, but she turned her head to the side to whisper; “You're gonna see me differently.”

Damon laughed softly as he leaned in to whisper to her.. “Bon bon... I ate your tight little pussy till you were thrashing in my arms. I already see you differently.” 

Perhaps it was something about the way Damon said it, because in the next instant, with a “fuck I'm gonna cum again!!” Bonnie quickly cums for the third time shaking uncontrollably, as she is impaled on Damon's pulsing cock, and probing finger. 

Damon resumed his hard thrusts into her, his finger fucking her tight hole as his large cock filled her pussy. After three orgasms, her walls constricted, the tightness driving him closer and closer to the edge and when she turned around enough for them to lock eyes, she whispered “Cum inside me... I wanto feel your cum inside me.” He finally grunt out a warning and filled her pussy full of his dripping seed. 

He collapsed on top of her, breathing in her scent as his cock pulsed and spasmed inside her.

After catching his breath, realizing he may be too heavy for her, he rolled off her and onto his back beside her.

Bonnie hissed as she felt his cum leak out of her but shamelessly, she shifted to his side and smiled when his arm came around her.


	7. Whispers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What now?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt like they needed a kind of “end” to the smut... A befitting one, so that the story can flow without any awkwardness between them.
> 
> So yes, there is, once again, some amount of smut in this one.

They made love all through the night, almost as though they were afraid that the morning would bring an end to this... To whatever it was that was happening between them. Bonnie couldn't sleep as well as she would have loved to as she wondered if he would have any regrets when the morning came. She had practically thrown herself at him and the result had been too more orgasms than she had had in her entire life.

She woke up instinctively around 4 am. It was dark and silent, only the gentle hum of the still sleeping world and the sound of Damon's sweet breath filled her senses. She rolled over, breath heavy, sleep still lingering to see him sleeping soundly beside her.

She watched his chest rise and fall slowly as she decided what to do. Carefully, she pulled the sheets a little lower and slid her naked body down to the foot of the bed. Her breasts brushing against Damon softly, moisture building between her legs. She placed her warm soft mouth on Damon's beautiful flaccid cock. She wanted to enjoy the feeling of his delicate skin engulfed in her mouth like she hadn't been able to since Damon had done all the pleasuring. She felt the warmth radiate from his core as she slowly rolled her tongue around the head of his cock. Her hand moved to the base of his cock to pull it to a standing position and slowly suck the head into her mouth.

She was a little conscious of her sexual prowess, she realized, when it came to him. Her previous boyfriends liked her fellatio but Damon was... Damon was older, more experienced, and she wanted to please him more than she has ever wanted to please anyone. She worked slowly, not wanting to rush, not wanting to wake him yet. She explored his thick tip with her tongue, gently following the smooth edges, fully engaged and wanting nothing more than to please him. Softly, she sucked and licked the delicate slit. She heard a soft moan from above her and smiled to herself when she felt his cock start to swell in her mouth. 

Slowly, she sunk her mouth on him, taking him in inch by inch till she felt the tip hit her throat. She still had a few inches to go but she wasn't a pornstar and had a very active gag reflex so she didn't push it. The last this she wanted was to start coughing violently. She imagined that would wake him up and in typical Damon Salvatore fashion, he would tease her mercilessly. His dick was almost fully erect in her mouth as she slowly suck up and down his incredible length. 

Unsure if he was merely dreaming, Damon's eyes begin to open as his hands find their way into her messy hair. Subconsciously, he gripped hard and held her face firmly in place as he thrust his cock deeper into her mouth and groaned with pleasure.

Bonnie pulled off to look at him and Damon attempted a sleepy smile. His dick was covered in her glistening saliva and she slowly moved her fist up and down on his shaft as her mouth works down to his sensitive ball, pulling first one, then the other, into her mouth and gently sucking on them. He groaned, legs parting instinctively as he allowed her more space to do what she was doing to him. Damon was still half asleep but with every kiss and nibble on his balls, and every lick along his cock, he felt himself waking up.

Bonnie's hands move up and down on him for a while, enjoying how he writhed and panted beneath her. Determined eyes locked on his as she slowly took him into her mouth. He was awake and she didn't need to be so careful anymore so flexing her throat muscles, she took in more of his cock till her face was pressed to his body, the head of his cock lodged in her throat. She could feel his pulse deep in her mouth and she gagged finally, pulling back a bit. 

Damon stared at her. Never in his life has he seen something so erotic. She pulled off completely, trying to catch her breath without making it obvious and slapped his cock against her swollen lips for a while before taking him back into her mouth. She was soaked to the point of discomfort but knew this wasn't about her. Not right now.

“Bon...” Damon says on a choked whisper and she could tell he was getting close. She cupped his balls and went to town on his dick, hungrily bobbing her head on him till he exploded into her mouth.

Bonnie licked every drop of him before letting his go with a loud pop. Smiling, licking her lips, she crawled up and on top of him. “Did I do well?” she whispered.

“You damn near drove me crazy, woman.” Damon responded and pressed a firm kiss to her lips, tasting himself on her mouth and not caring. 

They lay there, tangled up for a long time before Bonnie voiced out what was really on her mind; “What are we doing, Damon?”

He turned his head to the side to look at the girl from where she lay in his arms, seeing the confusion on her fave and very sure he had the same look reflected in his eyes. “I dunno.” He replied honestly.

“Yeah... Me neither.” Bonnie conceded, looking pensive as her fingertips drew patterns absentmindedly on Damon's chest. “You think this is a sign that we've given up on going back home?” She asked after a while, cutting into both their musings.

“I don't think so.” Damon responded. He was the one who had been ready to give up because he had run out on blood but after their little arrangement, he didn't have that desire. For a brief moment, he recalled how her blood had felt the night before on his tongue when he had dug his fangs into her femoral vein.

“So you still want to go back home?” Bonnie asked, shifting beside his so she can get a better view of his face.

“Don't you?” Damon responded with a question of his own. Frankly, he wouldn't mind either option if _she_ chose it. If Bonnie wanted to give up on this search, he could decide to live an entire lifetime with her in this place no matter how much unfinished business he had in the real world. It didn't even need thinking about.

“I do.” She responds softly, almost shyly, and when she spoke again, her words were filled with uncertainty, her voice several octaves lower as she feared she may be saying the wrong thing. “Jeremy doesn't handle loss very well and I'd be worried for the rest of my life here, because of him.” She figured a night of passion should not change her friendship with Damon. If she couldn't confide in him anymore about her thoughts and feelings, she really feared she might lose her mind.

“Yeah.” Damon agreed. He knew all about Jeremy's history with girlfriends who end up lost or dead and how much compelling he has had to mete out to help the boy _'cope'._ “Elena... I worry about Elena sometimes too... I wonder how she's coping with all this. She tends to do drastic things when she encounters loss.” Like burning down her house, turning her humanity off... He sighed.

“Yeah.” It was wistful, her sigh mirroring Damon's as they both thought about the people they felt, in one way or another, they were responsible for.

“So back to the question, what _are_ we doing, Bonnie?” Damon asked after what felt like an hour of silence. They had both been lost in their thoughts. The Sun was beginning to rise and peeks of it could be felt in his room

“Are we just fucking because there is literally no one around?” Bonnie asked absentmindedly, almost as if she was talking to herself.

Damon told himself he would need some getting used to when it came to Bonnie's dirty mouth and yes he liked it but it was a little against his nature to be blatantly uncouth. Sexy talk, yes... plain filth... That was a territory he made the mental note to start practicing if Bonnie liked it so much. “Or are we actually throwing away everyone else and selfishly chasing this... thing between us?” He added to her musings.

Bonnie lifted herself up onto her elbows, shifted till she was looking down directly into his eyes and whispered; “I'm not ready to throw them away.” It was the truth. The sad, bitter truth.

“Neither am I.” Damon smiled at her. His hand came up to brush her hair, trying to tuck the wild strands behind her ear and failing.

“So, now what?” She asked, still uncertain about everything.

“Now, we fuck, as you callously put it. No strings attached and no promises... At least not until we get out of here.” Damon responds with a smirk and without warning, flipped them over so he was hovering over her. “You're moving into this room, and I'm going to make sure I ... fuck you in every corner of this house.” he threatened, palms slowly and tenderly starting the sensual caress over her body.

“Don't...” Bonnie whispered, catching Damon off guard and he looked down at her in confusion. Biting her lips, she elaborated “Don't touch me like that. It makes me sentimental and we both know we don't want that right now...”

“So you really meant it when you said fuck..” Damon teased as he hooked a hand under her knee and when she opened her mouth to speak, he thrust into her wet fold.

“ooohhhmyyy....” Bonnie's back arched off the bed, her eyes rolling back as he thrust in and out of her. The previous care was forgotten as he pushed in and out of her. Her hands move to cup her breasts, squeezing them as Damon slammed inside her.

Minutes later, Damon whispered “No strings attached huh?” from where he lay nestled between her breasts. His dick was still inside her, not fully flaccid yet, and her fingers were in his hair, playing with them as they both tried to catch their breath.

The strings, he feared, were already attached.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to spoil the fun, I think.


	8. Dear Diary...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damon doesn't enjoy being confused about anything.

**Damon's P.O.V**

**Dear Diary,**

_Judging from the empty pages inside you till date, it is obvious that I'm not really fond of you but desperate times call for desperate measures so here we are._

_In all my life... My 174 years long life, I have never been so conflicted about anything._

_It was always easy for me. I never took too long to make a decision so it really drives me nuts that I'm stuck on this particular decision for as long as I have._

**Dear Diary,**

_Yes, it's me again. Someday, future generations are going to read this journal and think I'm not eloquent but lemme just throw this out there: I'm the most suave person you'll ever meet._

_At least the old me._

_What the hell is wrong with me?_

**Dear Diary,**

_Life used to be so easy.  
What happened?_

**Dear Diary,**   
_I'm pretty sure by now, you think I'm crazy but I assure you, I'm not. A little disoriented but not crazy._

_For decades I loved only one woman. My waking moments were filled with thoughts of her, my dreams collided with reality on several occasions as I recalled the feel of her skin under my fingertips, the way it felt when she fed on me..._

_... For a century, she was all I thought of, all that mattered, all there ever was._

_**Katherine.** _

_And now what? Two women?_

**Dear Diary,**

_I remember her._

_**Elena.** _

_I remember the first time we met, how I mistook her for Katherine... How easy it was for me to realize she wasn't Katherine when she smiled._

_I remember her being cautious, concerned and stunned when I told her her innermost desires. I still don't know if I was accurate but judging from the events that followed, I believe I was... at least a little._

_I remember every day after that, every moment I spent with her, watching her, watching her loving my brother and I remember the thrill I felt every time she gave me some attention, albeit the negative kind._

_I remember the betrayal I felt every time she took Stefan's side and left me to burn and I remember, those fleeting moments when I felt her armor crack, and saw that she didn't entirely hate me._

_I recall the hope that filled me every time we locked eyes and she smiled instead of frowning and I remember every thrilling minute I heard her laugh, or talk excitedly about something, or get bored about something._

_Every word, every smile, every kiss and touch... I remember when she chose Stefan over me. Over and over again, and I remember that first time I threw her onto my bed and ravished her._

_I remember that crushing fear and panic I felt when I confirmed that she was sired to me and how happy I was when she told me she had no regrets where I was concerned._

_I remember._

_I remember every waking moment after that. The subtle touches, the silent confirmations and that promise in the rain._

_I remember the images and remember all the feelings I felt in every one of those blasted moments._

_But **she** doesn't._

**Dear Diary,**

_Elena made a promise to me that this was going to be forever..._

_...Actually, wait._

_She never promised me. She asked **me** to promise her this was forever. I guess she knew she wouldn't be able to hold onto her part of the bargain if that were the case._

_I'm the one in a bind while she walks free and somehow, I feel pissed._

_And I miss her._

_**I miss Bonnie so much.** _

**Dear Diary,**

_I'm more confused now._

_I thought I would fight harder for Elena. I mean, I spent every waking moment while she was dating my brother, trying to make her heart flatter for me and now that I know for a fact, I'm capable of achieving that, shouldn't I fight harder for her to get her memories? Shouldn't I make her remember me or at least fall for me all over again?_

_Why did I say those words to her tonight? Why did I tell her she was doing a great job moving on? Who cares what's good for her?_

_We're good together._

_Shouldn't that be all that matters? Since when was I so selfless?_

**Dear Diary,**

_Yup. It's me again...twice in an hour. Get used to it._

_I don't think I was being selfless. I think I was being selfish._

_I think by telling Elena to move on with her life, I'm choosing Bonnie...or the memory of Bonnie who died just so I can come home to the people we both loved, people who had erased me from their memories and people who were dating other girls self–destructedly._

_Unworthy people._

**Dear Diary,**

_I thought Bonnie died when I escaped but she's alive. I found Mr. Cuddles last night and I think she found a way to let me know she's still alive._

_I'm going to get her back no matter what I have to give up._

**Dear Diary,**

_I'm done writing inside you. For listening to the rantings and ravings of a borderline lunatic these last few day, I thank you and apologize. Your other diary friends probably tell tales about world–changing ideas being written in them and you're stuck with me and my love square with Katherine, Elena and Bonnie._

**Dear Diary**

_I held her in my arms today._

_After 98 days without her, I held her in my arms today. She hopped right into them in reckless abandon, laughing heartily as she literally clung, legs and arms, to me._

_It took every will I have gathered over the last 174 years not to toss her onto the next surface and show her just how much I've missed her. Every ounce of it._

_She said no strings attached, only as long as we were in the prison world. She said she wasn't ready to give up the people she cared about and I respect that, no matter how much I feel like destroying Jeremy Gilbert._

_I wish she would realize soon that in this world, we still need to be together._

_Soon._


	9. Clarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonnie recounts events that led her home.

**Bonnie's P.O.V**

His name was Kai. Kai Parker.

If ever there was an image attachment near the word _facilitator_ or _killjoy_ or plain _maniac,_ Bonnie was sure the smug, smirking, unrepentant face of Kai Parker would be right there in bold watercolor.

They had spent all day in bed, in different states of undress and she had done things –and allowed things to be done to her– that had never happened to her before and it had felt great. Damon had opened a whole new door for her, allowed her to learn things, to rediscover herself as a woman and gained a confidence she's never felt.

To think it took sex with Damon to make her feel this way.

But then they couldn't stay in bed forever and the weirdness, coupled with the constant feeling of being followed, was enough to get them moving.

Enter Kai Parker.

Turned out all she needed was some motivation. Kai threatening Damon's life in the way and manner in which he did, was all that she needed to be revamped. It didn't take much thinking, no decisions needed to be made and no drastic moved needed to be made. In that moment, Damon, who had been her whole world in the last few months, was at risk and she literally felt like her whole world was coming down around her.

And then Kai had started talking.

A Bennett witch had created this prison, he had said.

He had killed his family, he had said.

He knew a way out of this place, he had said.

And after a quick look at Damon, she knew he was feeling just how she was feeling. It was too soon.

They had lived six months in this world hoping for that day when they would go home to the people they loved, who loved them. They had survived 6 months of social deprivation, starvation (on Damon's part) and denying themselves of that inevitable pleasure. They had restrained themselves over and over again and _just_ when they succumbed to it...literally _just_ when they had, they were given an out?

What kind of sick, twisted stroke of fate was that?

She was the one who had said they should have a no strings attached relationship. She was the one who had thought it was a good idea but that was when she thought going back home would be another few months and they would have all the time in the world to think about this, to make their mistakes and come to a more concrete conclusion before escaping this place.

She had thought they had more time than this. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~©~~~~~~~~~~~

It was an easy decision.

When it came down to it, she had let Damon go because it was so easy. She didn't need to think about pros and cons of that decision in that moment. She didn't consider what could happen to her with Kai in the prison world and definitely didn't allow herself to imagine the misfortune that would befall her at the hands of the sociopath.

All she knew, in that moment, was clarity.

She couldn't be selfish with Damon. She had stood there with Kai and listened as Damon had recounted the events of May 10th 1994 and she had listened because that was all she could do. 

He had killed his own family, and it had dawned on her why Damon had believed strongly that this was _his_ hell. Everything made sense to her; the pancakes, the desire to get out of this place and later, the desire to leave their version if Mystic Falls... It made sense to her why he refused vehemently to feed on her and why he took off for days after that first night when he had nearly drained her dry.

**Clarity.**

That was the one –and only – good thing she got out of Kai's presence and she would love to petulantly whine about the fact that Damon withheld that information from her but she couldn't even bring herself to do _that_.

**Clarity.**

The kind that snuck up on you like a cancer and invades your thoughts, refuses to leave, takes up residence in your emotions and your subconscious and multiplies randomly till you have no other option than to succumb and surrender to the effect of that... That tumor.

**Clarity.**

That Damon loved Elena. No one else. Damon had been in love with Elena since he had stepped foot in town. Admittedly, the earlier years could be attributed to his obsession with Katherine but oh he loved her. Plainly and shamelessly, even when everyone judged him for wanting his brother's girlfriend. Damon loved Elena enough to wait for her, be with her selflessly –which was against his nature – till she was ready to come to him and his patience had paid off.

Damon Salvatore had finally gotten the girl of his dreams after years of trying and one night of sex, or 6 months of tension was not going to nullify all that, she'd be damned. _The fucking cancer of truth._

**Clarity.**

Clarity that in all her life, not once has she been made to feel how she felt about Damon. One look at him and she felt her insides twist in a not-all-bad way but also in a not-all-good way. He tied her up in tight knots and then effortlessly loosened all the knots, just to tie her up again. Effortlessly.

And she knew, Damon wasn't the kind of immature lover that Jeremy was. She _knew._ Which was the scary part. Because...

**...Clarity**

Damon was not a careless, spineless, immature lover like Jeremy. Damon wouldn't hesitate over a 2 night fling when his once on a lifetime romance was at stake.

All she had in that moment when the eclipse was high, was **Clarity.**

And it was simple; Damon needed to go home. At least one if them needed to go home for both their sakes because if Damon stays, they would both keep lying to themselves that what they have was just as good, just as "worth it" as what he has with Elena... And that wouldn't be fair to either one of them.

He needed to be with the one he truly loved and she needed time away from him... Time enough to convince herself that what she was feeling towards him wasn't a complicated feeling.

And it sure as hell wasn't love.

Or was it?

I the days that followed, the last thing she felt was clarity... She felt pain, anguish, desperation, and every moment when she could grab a minute to herself without Crazy Kai breathing sociopathic fire down her neck, she allowed herself to wonder... To wonder about home.

It started, usually, as a general wonderment. She wondered about Mystic falls and even though it was crazy, she celebrated every day like she used to, kept track of the days and holidays.

And then she thought of her friends... How was Elena? What was Caroline up to these days? What was going on at college? What campus group had the blonde bombshell joined this time around and what cause she was championing... She would turn her thoughts to Matt, whom she was sure stayed back at Mystic Falls and subsequently, she would think of Jeremy... How he was doing without her, how he was holding up, hoping he hadn't picked up any disturbing new habits to cope without her... She realized she had hurt him yet again and wanted –in those rare moments that she was allowed the luxury of wishing and hope– at least a chance to tell him sorry.

And then there was Damon.

Thoughts of Damon kept her sane. They kept her from crumbling over and over again like she so feared she would. In the end, Damon Salvatore was the one who kept her grounded to reality, who anchored her. Albeit to this alternate reality.

Memories. That was all she had. She remembered the snark, the fights, the soft way he spoke sometimes when he was boiling with rage, that slight quirk of his brows he used as a "full stop" to really infuriating declarations... The blue of his eyes, the boom of his laugh when he threw his head back in a laugh –which he rarely did– ... And then she remembered his skin, his hands, his lips, him... Everything.... She remembered everything to the point that it hurt.

She told herself not to be greedy, she told herself not to covet, to be reasonable but every hour that passed, she burned with the thought that Damon went back home...

... To Elena.

She hoped someone –anyone– would find her doll but mostly she hoped Damon would, because she knew he would remember her, would understand what it meant... That she was alive, that she was trying so hard to get back home... To everyone but mostly, to him.

That was just the fantasy. The reality was that at most, Damon would realize she was still alive and try to help her out but to think she was holding on for him... Was too farfetched even for her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~©~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_“It's day 278 inside this stupid prison world. I have two broken toes, nine blisters, and an ear infection, but I don't care. I have phesmatosed the crap out of this magic Canadian rock, and I have my magic again. And when that eclipse hits 12:28, I'm going home. You hear that, me? Home.”_

Home. She could literally taste it on her tongue. In those 278 days she had cried, wept, lost hope, given up, felt loved, loved, lost and felt hope all over again... There was no way she was still that girl who carelessly put everyone's happiness before hers. She was no longer the one who had no idea what she was truly worth... She was not that girl who would put herself in a situation like this again.

Never again. She vowed.

But she knew it was easier said than done in a land where no one else exists but her. One look at her friends and she will be ready to bend over backwards for them again like the last nine and half months hadn't happened... Like she hadn't been locked up in this place all by herself with no one for more than three months.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~©~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She was home.

Mystic Falls. With people in it, and the first thing she wanted to do, wasn't to see Elena and Caroline, or to look for Jeremy... The first thing she wanted to do was to see Damon, to _feel_ Damon and know that they were together in this space. Perhaps she wanted to know if he missed her too... If he wondered about her like she did. The only time she knew he did was on that trip into the Prison world. 

Back then, she had been so happy to know there was a way out of that place that nothing mattered but later that night, when she had made it to that empty porch, sweaty and panting, and allowed realization to set in that she wasn't going home that night, her mind started to mess with her.

Damon had come to get her. _With Elena._

Why? Was that his way of telling her he was back together with the love of his life? What did it mean? How did that change what happened between them? Was Elena aware? On second thought she decided her friend wasn't aware because she hadn't sounded as though she was, when they had spoken.

And yet, in spite of the confusion and the possibility, the likelihood that she would walk in on Damon and Elena in the throes of passion, she steeled herself and went into the Salvatore house and started making pancakes.

Her "ride" home had been bumpy but nothing else mattered... Especially when she heard Damon enter the room.

For a moment, he stood there looking at her and she could do nothing but stand and stare back. Emotions, thoughts, flickered through her like Christmas lights and she could see him unable to hide the joy on his face once the disbelief had washed off.

Later, she would wonder what all that meant but that was relegated to the background when she heard his soft; “Bonnie...”

Nothing in that moment mattered, and every amount of pain, every obstacle she had had to endure to get to this moment was worth it. “One and only...” She responded with a smile and his responding smile was almost blinding.

When he had held his arms open for her, he wasn't Damon Salvatore, the man whose bed she had shared for 2 days, he wasn't Damon Salvatore, her best friend's boy friend, he wasn't Damon Salvatore, Stefan's brother and bad boy extraordinaire. 

He was Damon Salvatore, the one whom she wanted to share this moment with, to be with, more than anyone in the world and once again, she felt it; **clarity,** as she run across the room and hopped into his arms, legs wrapping around him in reckless abandon.

_**Home.** _

With Damon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year to you all!!!
> 
>  
> 
> I've had a very hectic holiday season so apologies for the late update. I hope to update this at a faster pace henceforth.


	10. Ripped

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damon gets told his mother is a ripper and even though Bonnie had torn him apart mere hours prior, the only one he could think of talking to, was her.

To say she was hurt would be something else...

Perhaps she was disappointed. But admitting she was disappointed only came to confirm that a part of her had hoped... Against her better judgement. 

Bonnie was crushed.

She didn't know which part of the whole ordeal hurt more so she played and replayed the last couple of days over and over again in her head. After more than three months without Damon, she had managed to get home.

Days of loneliness, emotional starvation, fear... Mind numbing fear... After having to stitch her own cuts, and surviving strangulation, and a stab... After fighting, every day, for just one more breath devoid of pain... After all the times she broke down and had to pick herself back up again... After all that time.

She made her way home and somehow, she started to wonder what the fuss had all been about. Perhaps it was the comfort of knowing that if you fall from an apoplectic shock, someone around would realize and call an ambulance or the comfort of just having someone there but the reality was, there was some peace in the chaos of this world she had come back to...

The world that had Damon in it.

And somehow, just somehow, she had expected it to be the same. That she would hung out with Damon, he'd make her pancakes and she'd grumble about them while solving the crossword.

And it sucked that it didn't happen that way.

He had been the first one she had gone to see and the reunion had been... Everything she had expected... Hours spent with him that night chatting about anything and everything. Somehow, every story felt better, sounded better when Damon told it.

She had found out about Elena telling Alaric to compel her memories of Damon out of her head, and heard about Stefan and Caroline's budding romance... Damon had made sure to save the death of Elizabeth Forbes for last, knowing how much it could devastate her and she appreciated that.

The rest of the evening, she had spent just talking to him for old time's sake. Neither one of them brought up the few nights they shared together before he came home and a part of her was glad.

It was almost morning when she reached for the video recorder to show Damon what she had seen and that was when everything changed.

His mother.

Not dead, alive and well.

And that set the course for a disappointing encounter after another.

She had deliberately left out her encounter with Kai when they had been left alone in the prison world, knowing how impulsive the vampire can be but what she hadn't expected was for Damon to try and get her to work with Kai... For what purpose?

Nothing. To her, nothing in her entire life had stung than that betrayal so she had vented. Like a typical witch against a vampire, she had vented not with words but with spells and flicks of her wrist till Damon was broken and bleeding and she had hurt him some more.

Maybe it was pain from him bringing Kai to her or anger that he went to Kai and not her. Her anger, and her disappointment, she feared, had more to do with the fact that she was realizing she may not be all he has in this world and a part of her was struggling with that.

It scared her.

It worried her.

Sighing, she rolled onto her stomach on the bed and picked up her phone to type. Her fingers hovered over the keypad several times and came up with nothing.

Sending Jeremy that voice note had been easy. All she had to do was tell him she was back in town and hoped he was doing well. 

Caroline, in her moments of “humanity switch off” ness, had boldly and cruelly informed her of all Jeremy's exploits in her absence and although a part of her was angry about it, she was also happy to not have to live with the burden that she cheated on him while he remained faithful.

And yes, it angered her that Elena had chosen not to inform her of them. Perhaps it wouldn't have changed anything, but she couldn't help feeling that if Caroline hadn't said anything, Elena would have remained silent about her brother's exploits till the very end... And that didn't sit well with her.

She found she had a lot of reasons to be angry now that she was back home. Her temper was short with people and her expectations are too damn high.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~©~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damon has had a very hard day.

That was the summary of it and really, the toning down of that. He had had a very crappy day and most of that feeling had to do with Bonnie.

No, she hadn't done anything wrong... The problem had been with him. He had been happy to see her, thrilled even. He had wanted, more than anything in that moment, to tell her _“I've been here without you for months, witchy and I don't want to be anywhere without you again”_ but he had held back.

He had just allowed her to settle. She seemed so overwhelmed with everything that was happening and it was only right that he didn't bring up the issue of their complicated almost–romance.

Until he had seen **her**.

His mother.

Everything changed then. It wasn't about his reunion with Bonnie so much as it was him regressing back to his teens; to the boy who lost his mother, who disappointed her and Stefan by not eulogizing her.

To that boy.

Calling Stefan to give him the news only to hear how harsh he had sounded over the phone gave him more than he could handle. He didn't need an expert to tell him what was going on with his brother after years of going through it and that just...

A kind of frenzy happened after that. Allowing himself into places he shouldn't be, liaising with people he shouldn't with... Hurting the one person he hoped he never would.

And her pain had broke him but not as it had broken him to realize there was truth in what Kai revealed to him at the end of the day.

His mother, Lily Salvatore, was a ripper.

Just like that young boy, he mourned till the only thing he could do was to pick up his phone and contact the one person he wanted around.

The only person he knew wouldn't abandon him... Because in his mind, everything was starting to link up, to connect in a way that was terrifying and bone–chilling.

His mother left him.

His own mother abandoned him.

 _[I'm not okay.]_ his simple text to Bonnie read, hours after Kai had dropped the bomb, after he had taken out his frustration on everything in the house, broken all he can break and spilled all he could spill and still had that raw pain in his chest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~©~~~~~~~~~~~~

She was still in bed struggling about texting him when his text came in and Bonnie didn't need to contemplate.

In all the time she has known Damon Salvatore, never – not once – has he said those words... Not to anyone and not under the influence of vervain. Something was going on, and in spite of their recent falling out, Bonnie threw her jacket back on and hopped in her car, heading back to Mystic Falls.

She was sure it had nothing to do with her magic pain infliction and that worried her even more. When she arrived, it was several minutes past midnight and the Salvatore boarding house sat in the dark as though no one was home.

The doors were locked when she tried them but after a while of contemplating whether it would be breaking and entering, she unlocked the door with a mild flick of her wrist.

“Son of a bitch!” She exclaimed under her breath when she stepped feet first into shards of glass. _“Incendia.”_ she whispered and watched, jaw dropping inch by inch as the room was illuminated. Oh no, she wasn't in awe of the magic of lights and fires being lit. That kind of awe happened only in the first month she used that spell. Her shock, this time, was because of the sight the greeted her.

Foam, which from the look of things, had originally been in the sofas, were mixed with shards of glass and wood... A blood trail seemed to go round and round in the midst of that... Running from the kitchen to the living room, up the stairs and back down again and the damage was just... Damon Salvatore sat on the ottoman, –even the clothes on his back torn as if he had tried to claw them off his very skin– which seemed to be the only thing not damaged. Yet.

“Couple of bulls storm through this house tonight?” she tried for a lighter tone, not really one to get all in the zone when it came to comforting someone.

Damon looked up and blinked. He blinked again just to clear his sight and noticed for the first time, with the help of the lighting, the extent to the damage he had caused. Stefan will kill him, was the first thing that crept into his head and a small smile formed on his lips at the irony that Stefan _could_ indeed kill him now with his humanity off but considering he might not even care about this house, it was a tricky world after all.

“Wanna tell me what happened?” Bonnie asked when it seemed Damon was happy being lost in his own thoughts, stepping over the mess and into the house.

When he finally started to talk, Bonnie listened intently because the words were just so scattered she had to do reconstruction of statements in her head till it all made sense and when it did, she wondered, silently, why Damon was as affected as he was about the news from Kai but knew it was bad form to ask him that.

“Kai could be lying... I mean, I don't trust him for anything.” Bonnie reasoned.

“I know that. But this time, I believe him. He wasn't lying when he told me that. I had him by the neck and he looked right into my eyes and told me that.”

“Probably to get you to release him.” But even as she said those words, somewhere in her conscious mind, Bonnie Bennet was sure that was not the reason.

“That's a dumb way to get me to release him and Kai, is not dumb.” Damon countered, brow raised for Bonnie's agreement or rebuttal.

“Don't look at me... I'm not agreeing or disagreeing with you.” She pouted.

Damon turned around a bit from where he still sat on the ottoman, carelessly kicking at the rubble at his feet with his bare foot. Sometime in the middle of his insanity, he had taken his shoes off and fed the floors and carpets a healthy doze of his blood. “I'm really sorry about earlier... If I knew,”

“He would have died? I doubt it Damon. You've gone soft, and I can't sat that's a bad thing.” Bonnie cut it. Killing Kai would kill an entire generation of people... Harmless, including children and that just went against everything she stood for.

“He messed with you, Bonnie. In my absence.” Damon was still chewing on that.

The witch scoffed. “What was he supposed to do? Wait for you to be present?”

“You know what I mean.”

“I do. Now get up, we need to clean this up before someone else comes to see this eyesore.” Bonnie wrinkled her nose up in disgust as she shot an accusatory look towards him.

“You know you're supposed to hug and comfort me not give me a talking to, right?” Damon whined.

“What good is that going to get you? Now get off your bum before I kick it. Mommy dearest is something we'll have to discuss once your emotions are stable.”

“Hey, my emotions are very stable.” Damon disagreed lightly but stood up anyway. He imagined with Bonnie's temper and her recent handle on magic, it won't be beyond her to hoist him onto his feet.

“Right.” she said, the sarcasm and cynicism evident in that one word.

“Yes, right.” Damon scoffed absentmindedly, looking carefully on the floor as he made his way through the mess he had created. “If they weren't I wouldn't ask you how things are with you and the little Gilbert.” somehow, he wasn't sure if this was a good time to talk about what had happened and could happen again between them but he was starting to think it was never going to be a good time.

“Jeremy?” Bonnie was taken aback by the suddenness of the inquiry and shifted on her feet, feeling surprisingly, a little uncomfortable.

“How many Gilberts do we know?” Damon quirked a curious brow at her, eyes dancing with mild humor at her reaction to his question.

Perhaps it was the fact that Damon was teasing her that she didn't like, or perhaps she just didn't like the fact that he seemed to be steering this particular conversation but when Bonnie spoke, she surprised even herself. “You'd know. How many have you slept with since you've been back?”

Damon stopped in his tracks. The distance between them hadnt been that great but due to tye mess and the fact that he knew carelessly stepping through the shards would ignite Bonnie's anger, he had to take his time in getting to her but her assessment just... Stopped him right there, foot dangerously set beside some wood chippings from the evidence of his momentary insanity. “None, actually. I tend to take offense when people choose to throw me away.” which was an understatement but he didn't alter his words.

“Offense.” Bonnie muttered, feeling the bile start to rise in her throat.

“Yes, offense, Bonnie... I was offended.”

“Because you couldn't get the woman you wanted?” and somehow, the bile went back down and maneuvered its way around her heart, bitterness clouding her vision.

“No. _That_ made me angry.” Damon says honestly and stopped, eyes locked on Bonnie's till he saw her start to understand what he was trying to say. He had seen the pain that had flashed in her eyes at her own question and known he was responsible somehow for that. “I was offended because my ego doesn't take it lightly when people cast me aside... But I was glad she did.”

“What?” The witch asked incredulously, her own voice a blend between a shriek and a gasp.

“I know you might have a hard time believing me right now, all things considered, and I get that but I want to ask you something..” Damon shifted, then got uncomfortable with the distance between them. He took quick, careless steps towards her, ignoring the momentary pain he felt under his feet till he was standing a few feet away from her.

“What?” The question cane out softly, cautiously, uncertainly.

“When you came back, if you came to find Jeremy waiting for you, chaste as a lobster, do you think you would have still been–”

“No.” Somehow, even though she had never really thought about this, finding the answer had been very easy.

Damon nodded as if he understood her response. He didn't look like someone who had won the lottery, or someone who was celebrating a victory... He just looked like someone who understood. Pensive. “Something changed, Bonnie, while we were in there. It had nothing to do with Elena deciding to eradicate me from her heart and mind or Jeremy sleeping his way through the Mystic Falls cheer leading team and everything to do with what happened to us in the prison world.” He asserted. “Months with just one person, all that uncertainty and all that... Everything that happened...”

“Everything including us sleeping together.” Bonnie cut in again. If they were having this conversation, they better have it in full and be done with it that beat around the bush and leave some things unattended to.

“And all the moments that led up to it, bon. Everything. When I came home, I wanted to give the old life a chance and I won't apologize for that.” Damon said seriously.

“You don't –” she tried to cut him off, realizing, perhaps, that she may not be ready for this conversation in its wholeness.

“I wanted to go to Elena, to see if my heart will feel like it felt just months prior and it did.” Damon confirmed, and shifted on his feet. Talking about emotions have never really been his forte.

“Why are you telling me this?” Bonnie asked, her voice but a choked whisper.

“Because I'd rather be honest with you, bon bon...” Damon continued, then took a step forward again, putting her within arm's reach and restraining himself from doing just that. “When I saw her, I felt happy... Thrilled, excited. But she felt nothing. She wasn't hostile but she wanted nothing to do with me.”

“So you came to your second option.” her frown this time was aimed at herself. To think that _she_ would continue to say these painful things as if _she_ was deliberately seeking out pain.

“No.” Damon's smile was wistful. “I started keeping a journal because I was conflicted. My heart was starting to feel lighter the more I thought about it, the more I allowed myself to feel... And I realized then what I had known in the few months we spent together... I want you, Bonnie...” This time he reached out, as if his hands were carrying out the silent order in his words.

“You've got to be kidding me.” and yet her words didn't have as much sting as she expected them to have. She blamed that on shock at his declaration. A million times in the prison world she had envisioned this particular conversation but it never went this way. Yes, she allowed herself to hope but deep down, she knew in a world where Elena existed, she had no chance with Damon and perhaps, some part of her had accepted that 

“I want you, Bonnie... Everything you are, everything you've become, everything no one but me will be able to understand... I want you. And even though I thought you died, I still knew I was happy I chose you.” Damon continued.

“You thought I died?” her brows furrowed as she tried to get her brain out of its shocked state.

“Well, to be frank, you had an arrow in your rib and were bleeding... I just assumed... Till I saw Mr. Cuddles. And then hope flared inside me again.. That I'd see you again and if there was a way...”

“So you came to the 1994 prison world with Elena to tell me that?” she hadn't meant for the jealousy to come out, to be this obvious but after months of chewing on that thought and what it had meant, it seemed uncontrollable.

“Were you jealous?” and for the first time that night, Damon laughed. Heck, for the first time in months, he actually laughed, then straightened his face just in time to hear her timid response.

“No...”

“Yes you were!” He chuckled, taking that final step till he was in her personal space. The good thing about that was that she had cleared the area with her feet as she stood there and that gave his feet some rest from all the prickling. “My goodness, you're adorable. She's your best friend. She wanted to come and I thought you'd be happy to–” he tried to explain.

“I was.” and that was the truth. She had been happy to hear Elena's voice over the telephone and no amount of jealousy can change that.

“I wish I could have stayed behind that day. We'd pick up right where we left off.” he whispered, voice dropping automatically as he lifted her chin up and pulled her face towards him.

“Where was that?” Bonnie replied, voice echoing his someone in the same tone.

“It was day 9 so day 10 would be when I tried to find another favorite vein in your body to drink from while making love to you." Damon recounted, thumb trailing a line along her bottom lip till they parted on a sigh.

“Damon...” She didn't know why she said his name but hearing him whisper hers in response gave her a warm feeling in her chest and when his head came down towards hers, her eyes fluttered closed in anticipation. 

Bouts and jolts of happiness shot through her when his lips finally connected with hers, her hands moving along his to grab onto his biceps and further upward till they were in his hair... She had noticed on that first night after she arrived that his hair had gone back to its usual cut and wasn't the curly mess she had given him a few days prior to his exit from the prison world.

“You hurt me, you big ape!” She whined when they pulled back from the kiss, fingers still tangled in his hair and his hands resting casually at her hips.

“I know, and I'm sorry.” Damon turned serious again. “forgive me?”

“I'll think about it.” Bonnie responded with a smile, standing up on her toes to give his a quick peck on his lips.

“How can I speed up the process?” he had to fight the insane twitching at the corners of his lips.

“You're crafty... I'm sure you can think of some– Damon!” Bonnie started to say and gasped when he scooped her up into his arms and sped across the room and up the stairs to look for an unaffected room to use for such convincing.. 

**Later,** much much later, Bonnie woke up to the scent of pancakes and smiled as she headed down the stairs, her smile widening when she realized Damon had cleaned up the house.

Admittedly, it was emptier than normal but she imagined he would soon find a way of filling it up before Stefan noticed something was wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The more I watch the series, the more angry I feel about Bamon... I think the writers really messed up. He took advantage of her too many times its annoying but I hope to fix it a bit.
> 
> Also, after years of writing Teen Wolf fics, I keep writing Beacon Hills instead of Mystic falls... Kindly forgive me and draw my attention to it if I missed some in the editing.


	11. Humanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Damon needs to make a decision about their mother;  
> Stefan comes to an...awakening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the longest chapter yet mostly because of the introduction of other characters... It was challenging a bit to stay in character but... If you like it, then it was so worth it.

Damon was overwhelmed to say the least. Bonnie had spent the weekend with him in the boarding house and they had enjoyed themselves. Beyond the sex and nudity, it had been so good to literally lock the rest of the world out and live like they did in the prison world. He found it ironic how they had both wanted so much to come back to the real world and now that they were really here, all they wanted, was an escape from what used to be normal for them.

The only thing he was happy about, was the fact that Stefan was with him in this version of reality. Of course the fact that he had an endless supply of blood was a bonus but the real deal was having Stefan, even in his current altered state, with him in the same space... same spectrum. Yes, he had hated Katherine for turning Stefan then but to be frank, living alone all these years would have sucked and now, he was happy to have his brother with him.

Which was why he was all dressed up and in a college bar on a Monday night. His eyes scanned the room till they found his target. Wasting no time, he made his way through the understandably empty bar till he was at the bar, right next to his target. “Hello, blondie...” his tone dripped sass.

“Damon, I'm not in the mood for you right now.” Caroline drawled lazily, not looking up from her drink to give him any attention.

“To be fair, when have you ever been in the mood for me?" He carelessly informed her and lifted his hand to beckon the bartended closer to place an order. Brandy. As usual. "Which is why I'm choosing not to care about whatever mood you're in and saying what I came here to say.” Something in his tone must have told Caroline that he meant business and was not here to play because in the next moment, for a humanity-less vampire, she yielded.

“Make it quick.” She snapped.

“First, let's establish that you're stupid...” Damon says confidently, taking a sip of his drink which arrived at just the right moment.

“Thread carefully-” Caroline tried to cut in.

“And selfish..” Damon continued like she hadn't said anything, choosing to ignore her. “And reckless and irresponsible and did I mention stupid?”

“Damon.” She was running out of whatever little patience she had.

“Why am I saying that? One might wonder.” He drawled lazily, taking another sip of his drink, still not sparing a look at the blonde vampire beside him. “No matter how much of a raging bitch you are, you _don't force anyone_ to turn off their humanity just out of spite. It goes against the only code of morality we have as vampires. That was stupid. Secondly, you did that to Stefan... Now it is my understanding that you used to be smart before you... well, before you became what you are now but smart people don't force rippers to turn off their humanity for _any_ reason. Especially not rippers who are trying so hard to be good and constantly living on edge and out of fear. No amount of foolishness should trigger _that._ ” He took another sip of his drink, this time, dramatically swirling the liquid around in his glass before setting it down. “So now that we have covered my reasons for calling you stupid, selfish, reckless and irresponsible...Do you have any objections?”

“I don't have time for this, Damon.” Caroline announced as she stood, picking up her things to leave.

“You should. Because I refuse to clean up your mess. Lexi usually did that but since I killed her,” Damon whispered, calmer than he felt but determined not to let his actual worry show before the girl. “I have to do the dirty job but i refuse to take responsibility for a mess that _you_ created. I know it doesn't seem like it, but I have my own issues to deal with.”

“What do you expect me to do?” Caroline cursed herself for asking.

“I expect you to make sure he doesn't tip off the edge because trust me, if that happens, I won't care what Stefan or Bonnie will say, I will come after you and pull your heart right out of your chest.” He gestured with his hand for emphasis and for the first time that evening, he turned his head and spared her a look, making sure she understood the threat he just issued. “Trust me on that. And you don't want to test me. Elena says you asked for a year of your humanity off, feel free to take it and feel free to take Stefan with you and I won't interfere as long as Stefan doesn't start killing mercilessly. Because if that happens, you can agree with me that I won't kill him, but I'll kill you.” He pushed his stool back to stand, downing the last of his drink and pushing a stray note across the counter to the bartender. “And since you don't want my advice, I feel the need to remind you that you're not doing any healing in this time period. When your humanity is switched back on, it'll be as if your mom just died... only that it would have been a year already and everyone else would have healed a year's worth but you'll be right where you started. Heads up.”

“Is that all?” Caroline gulped, mentally berating herself for even allowing this conversation to start.

“For now, Blondie... let's hope I don't have to see you for a long time.” and just as he came, Damon exited the bar, leaving a befuddled Caroline behind.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He had spent all day tormenting Caroline, threatening her, making sure she was as miserable as she could possibly be and hated, absolutely, that the blonde vampire didn't seem at all fazed. Not even when he had killed her professor so ruthlessly. He considered moving permanently to the Whitmore campus so he could have more freedom to harass the blonde instead of the mini apartment he had rented nearby.

Making up his mind, he headed back home, resolving to pick up a change of clothes and hoping against all hope that Damon wasn't home to try and get him to flip his switch back on. Being locked up in a cellar, drained of his blood and pumped full of vervain was not one of his ideal ways of spending the afternoon. He stopped dead in his tracks when he opened the door to their house and was met with the sight of a bare room. The entire house looked like he had never seen it look. Damon, the specimen in question, and the obvious culprit to the new Salvatore home makeover, stood at the top of the stairs, wearing an air of nonchalance. “I like what you've done with the place.” Stefan uttered conversationally, casually as he made his way up the stairs to where Damon stood.

“I like what you're doing with your life.” Damon quipped as Stefan passed by him and headed straight for his room. He followed.

Stefan must have found his brother's sudden hovering a bother because while he didn't look up from his drawer, he called over his shoulder at Damon. “Whatever it is, say it while I'm here... I only came by to pick up a few clothes.”

“Because ripper duty requires such an excessive amount of wardrobe change, I imagine.” Damon flopped down onto his brother's bed, propping himself up onto his pillows and crossing his legs at the ankle, going for a casual air.

“You're not one to beat around the bush.” Stefan quizzed after a careless look over his shoulder. He hated himself for probing but apparently, Damon was enough to make him curious.

“You're right, I'm not.” Damon agreed, reaching out to pick a random object from Stefan's bedside table and examining it with interest. “So, it turns out our mother, is alive.” He deadpanned, nodding slowly when Stefan's response to that was just laughter... Well, a chuckle. “I wish I could laugh too but I can't. I have her on video.”

“Damon, she died in 1858.” Stefan said in a way that can only be described as condescending.

“That's what i also believed till three days ago.” The older man was expressing a level of patience that was foreign to him.

“I don't believe you.” Stefan turned now to look at Damon. His brother wasn't one to bluff about anything and he was having a hard time understanding just why he would lie about their mother being alive.

“Maybe you'll believe this...” He sent the old video recorder flying across the room and somehow, he expected Stefan to just let it crash but breathed a silent sigh of relief when Stefan caught it, more out of reflex than interest.

“I should rephrase that. I don't care.” Stefan's words came as confirmation of Damon's suspicions.

“Thought you'd say that and frankly, I was looking forward to you saying that. If, in however long it takes for you to get your humanity back, you suddenly wish to see her, I hope I can be able to boldly tell you that I gave you the chance and you said you didn't care.” Damon shrugged.

“What aren't you telling me?” Stefan told himself he shouldn't care and resolved to think about why he did, later.

“Oh. I thought it was obvious but it turns out mummy dearest is a ripper, probably left us because of it and well, she did a lot of killings... You two should meet someday and compare notes. Anyway, that's just a side note. The main note it that she did a lot of killings. No wait, that was the side note.” Damon managed in his usual annoying tone.

“Where is she? If what you say is true, why have we never come across her all this while? Why did she not come looking for us?” And Caroline would have a really big scare if she was to be listening to this conversation. He sounded like a four year old, struggling to keep that pouty whine out of his voice.

“Well, I'd like to answer all your questions baby brother but I can't. I can tell you that she's somewhere safe. According to Kai, our mother was the worst of your kind.” He picked up a pillow, fidgeting. “So bad that they had to create the first ever prison world for her in 1903.”

“You're not serious.” It was more of a humorous question than one asked from shock and disbelief.

“Oh I wish I wasn't but I am.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Stefan asked, turning around to zip up his duffel, still somewhat holding onto the video camera.

“Like I said, so that later when your humanity is back on, I can say I told you and you did nothing.” Damon offered with a shrug, honestly. He'd like to know how Stefan would deal with that truth.

“You're thinking about doing something?” Stefan wasn't entirely sure why he was surprised. It was Damon he was talking to. Crazytown is his hometown.

“Well, Bonnie might help if I ask nicely and Kai...well, even though he's obligated by the coven to not release her, that can also be arranged.” Another nonchalant shrug.

“You've thought about this.” Stefan tossed the video player up and caught it again, then seeming to make up his mind, he set the camera down and picked up his bag.

“Yeah well, I had a little time on my hands, been sorting through my thoughts.” Damon stood from where he lay on the bed, following the other out of his room.

“Huh.” Was all Stefan said, careful with every step he took out of the room and conscious of Damon's presence behind him the entire time. This would be, he realized, the perfect time for that shot of vervain that came whenever he turned off his humanity switch.

“How's life without your humanity?” Damon asked, suspiciously calm.

“Where did you keep all the stuff?” Stefan asked, deflecting the question as he finally realized what was missing in the room when he first came home... which was everything. Everything was gone. The room looked barer than he'd ever seen it.

“I'm in anger management class... they teach you all this crazy stuff you know.” Damon says with yet another shrug, walking past Stefan and heading to the kitchen... well, what's left of it.

“What did you do?” Stefan actually chuckled.

“Found a healthy outlet for my frustration... The sofas didn't survive but on the bright side, the walls are still intact and don't you just appreciate that carpet more now without all the distractions?” He threw a cocky smirk over his shoulder at his brother, pouring himself a brandy.

“I'm just...” Stefan just gave up and shook his head, heading out of the house. the last thing he heard was Damon's whispered: “Try not to kill anyone.” and he hated the fact that Damon was doing things to him... making him think, making him care and generally putting him in a place he shouldn't be since his humanity was off. The entire ride back, Stefan remained conflicted. He hated the fact that he was wondering about these things, hated that he actually cared about his mother being alive, hated that Damon was dealing with this all on his own, and more than anything he knew Lexi had left Elena in charge of switching his humanity back on in times like this so he absolutely hated the fact that the other had forgotten everything.

Somewhere along the way, he had to pull over. Too many emotions were flooding his thoughts, threatening to choke he very life source out of him. Elena had been his soul mate. They may have ended but he realized he wasn't necessarily angry at her. They broke up and she owed him absolutely nothing... but then there was Damon, trying to look strong, looking torn... And that, he couldn't handle.

He felt it.

More and more, as he sat in that parking lot, he denied it... It can't be that easy to have him feel again. Damon didn't have that much power over him. He refused to believe that.

“Where from?” Caroline asked the moment Stefan got to his rented room. She had called him earlier but got worried when he didn't answer. The last thing she wanted was to have a pissed off Damon on her trail for the rest of her young life because she didn't keep her end of a bargain she didn't even agree to. 

Stefan turned around sharply in the direction her voice came from. He didn't know how she got in but was mostly startled because his mind was still reeling from what had happened earlier. Damon had done nothing but be himself and he'd felt a massive crack in his resolve. “I went home for a few things. Can you believe that Damon made no attempt to snap my humanity back on? I'm still dazed that he let me walk out of there.” He offered conversationally.

Caroline was more than relieved. “Your brother...” Momentarily, she was tempted to share with Stefan Damon's threat. “You know what, I don't want to spend a beautiful evening like this talking about Damon.”

“What do you wanna do?" Stefan asked, dropping his duffel carelessly on the floor and heading towards her.

“Feed... and have sex.” Caroline suggested with a suggestive wiggle of her brows.

“That can be arranged, for sure.” 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“I'm sorry to bother you so much with everything going on and all that but Damon has it in his head to save his mom and even though I can't stand Kai, i have a feeling I'll cave if he keeps asking so nicely.” Bonnie says as she stepped into Alaric and Jo's apartment. She had called earlier to ask Jo about the ascendant and the fact that Lily was in the prison world. Jo hadn't had enough information on Lily Salvatore so she'd suggested getting back to her when she had more information. When the text had come, she just grabbed her bag and headed straight for her place.

“You and Damon huh?” Joe muttered perceptively, eyes watching the witch before her.

“What? No!” Bonnie denied quickly, turning around to shake her head vigorously as if trying to confirm her answer.

“Right. None of my business." The older woman responded with a mild chuckle before her features turned serious. "So I called my dad to ask about Lily, but all he wants to know is where the ascendant is. We have to destroy it.”

“I'm listening... Now tell me why? Not that I'm questioning the integrity of the coven that decided Kai _needed_ to be put away but mostly out of curiosity.” Bonnie felt the need to clarify.

“Before the 1900s, Damon's mother fell in with a group of witches that were cast out of the Gemini coven. They were known as heretics, siphoners like Kai, but not just that. Lily turned them, resulting in creatures that are both witch and vampire.” Joe explained, her hand instinctively moving to lie on her belly.

“But that's not possible. Vampires can't be witches.” Bonnie chipped in with disbelief. That would just go against one of the most basic truths she knew of witches.

“These are witches that have magic only when they siphon power from another source.” Jo explained as she stepped around the young witch to take a seat on the sofa, trying to get comfortable.

“As vampires they have a constant source.” Bonnie reasoned, silently moving, as though per agreement, to sit beside Jo on the couch.

“They can siphon off of themselves. They were on their way to destroy the Gemini, but the coven got to them first, put them into exile." Jo continued. "Heretics are ruthless Vampires with witch power, an aberration of nature.”

“They can never be allowed to escape.” Bonnie whispered, absolutely convinced of this. Yes, she may care for Damon a lot but she had made a vow to herself when she had been locked up in that prison world that she would not use her magic for borderline double standard acts. She was going to stop finding loopholes in what was good and what a Bennet witch should do because she was friends with vampires. "Imagine Kai with the blood lust of a vampire.” Now _she_ was scaring herself.

“Now imagine 6 of them." Jo continued in the monologue of horrors and impending doom. "And Lily, who is a ripper by nature. Add the fact that isolation from human society has probably made them worse.”

Bonnie's mind was made up regarding the matter. All that was left was... “How do I break the news to Damon?” she whispered.

“You care about him, can't deny that.” This time, Jo wasn't asking. She was pointing out based on evidence. Clear evidence which was written all over Bonnie's face and posture.

“I'm not.” because what's the point in denying it when the older woman was looking so convinced.

“Is he?” Jo whispered, cautious.

“I don't know...” Oh she knew Damon cared for her. She didn't know just how endlessly deep that love was.

“Just, I know this isn't any of my business but make sure before you leap, ok?” Jo advised. Being young and in love was crazy. She watched teenagers get consumed by love, intense feelings that they don't know how to handle really almost on a daily basis and some days, she comes back home with a headache not because of medical emergencies but because of the emotions and drama.

“You mean to make sure he and Elena are really over.” Bonnie, as usual, enjoyed fleshing out the details.

“Yes.” She nodded solemnly. “I mean, one of the first things he did when he got back was to try and get her back but then, in a manner that was not like him, he just gave up.” Her hand gestures stopped abruptly to buttress her point. Then... “Wait...” She turned sharply in her seat to Bonnie. “In the prison world?” her disbelief was evident.

“I can't believe I'm having this conversation with you.” Bonnie moaned, dropping her face in her cupped palms but was so relieved to be talking to someone about this.

“Well, one of your best friends is Caroline...and the other is Elena so i see how I become the best you got.” Jo laughed, lightening the mood.

“I don't know how it started. We both don't, to be honest. It just sort of happened but I expected him to be with her when we got back... When I came back, I expected to find him with her, not alone... not...” she struggled to find the words for it.

“Available?” Jo provided helpfully.

“Yes.” Bonnie agreed. “It makes me feel greedy and a bit guilty.” and there. She voiced it out. It was Thursday... About 4 days since she last saw Damon when she had left the Salvatore boarding house. In those 4 days, they had texted, called, done everything except sending owls to one another and every time she felt and heard her phone go off, she looked around to see if Elena noticed and that was killing her.

“And what does he say about this?” Jo asked quietly, softly.

“He thinks the prison world changed us in a way no one would understand. He's not done anything as silly as confessing love or anything but a part of me wants to see how far we can go... If it doesn't work out, I might as well join the people who compel their feelings away, right?” Bonnie quipped but with no real venom or humor. At least one thing she was grateful for, that Damon had been honest about his feelings for her and what he had done upon his return because hearing that from Jo first would probably have hurt.

“Not advisable.” Jo's words cut through her thoughts.

Took her a while but Bonnie retraced her thoughts to what she had said to Jo right before entering her reverie and nodded slowly. “I know." Her response was quiet, solemn.

“Is that part of you that wants to go for it your heart?” Jo whispered, concerned for the first time that evening.

“Both my head and heart.” Bonnie responded with a wry smile.

“Then go for it.” Jo says with a giggle and chuckled heartily when Bonnie giggled too, glad she helped relieve some of her stress.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Bonnie spoke with Jo.” Damon says without preamble as he sat down on the seat beside his brother. It has become very easy to locate Stefan these days considering he spent most of the time in the bar on campus with Caroline. Shaking his head and rolling his eyes mentally at just how appalling the whole thing was, he resolved not to tip his brother off in the wrong way. He ordered a brandy and looked around the sparsely populated bar. He imagined it was still a little early for the students to start trooping the bars because it would be really odd if there ever came a time when college students avoided bars on Friday evenings. 

“You're telling me because?” Stefan asked dishearteningly. He had been hoping not to have any running ins with Damon for a while. After the shock he had received after their last encounter, he was questioning everything, potent of which was the issue with his humanity. He couldn't quite be as heartless as he knew he could be. Someway somehow, his brother had managed to trigger some part of his humanity. Which was strange and confusing to say the very least.

“As mentioned earlier, I'd like you to have a say in this.” Damon answered conversationally.

“I don't want to.” and he meant that. The entire conversation was unpleasant and he stood to leave when Damon's hand on his arm stopped him. His grip was firm and the look he sent his way was enough to convey his message across

“Well, you have to.” Damon was obviously not having any of it. “She's our mother, Stefan and I swear to God you're going to listen to me willingly or I'm going to make you.” His hand remained firmly gripping Stefan's till the younger man sat back down. “Now that I have your attention, Bonnie says according to Jo, the reasonable thing would be to not open the door to the 1903 prison world.”

“And why is that?” Stefan participated, albeit begrudgingly.

“Because she's not the only one there. She's with 6 other vampires.” Damon paused for dramatic effect. He knew he didn't necessarily need to inform Stefan about everything but was determined to keep his brother sane for the period of time needed till he could get his humanity back.

“I'm still not seeing your point.”

“My point is, these aren't just vampires that are older, they're vengeful and also happen to have the Kai-witch syndrome.” Damon gulped down the rest of his drink. He had seen Stefan, spent a while talking to him, confirmed he wasn't out killing unsuspecting people and that was enough to set him at ease to go where he really wanted to go, which was to Bonnie.

“They don't have magic.” Stefan put two and two together in his head.

“But have the ability to siphon magic as big as the one surrounding an entire town, individually.” Damon provided.

Now it made sense to Stefan why opening that door would be a bad idea. Oh it made perfect sense. What didn't make sense, was why this was even up for discussion after all that was already evident. “Okay... Remind me again why we want our mother back?” and somehow, he was convinced he wouldn't like the honest answer to this.

“Because she's our mother.” Damon says simply and pulled out his wallet to pay for his drink.

“You think I'm stupid?”

He stood up, patting Stefan condescendingly on the shoulder. “I just delivered my news-”

“Don't you dare take a step out of here, Damon or I swear to God...” Stefan's words were firm and this time, he was the one gripping Damon's arm. With vamp speed, he was standing in his brother's way, determined to get his answers. “Why?”

“Because of you.” was all Damon said.

Stefan froze, his grip on Damon's arm faltering. “Don't tell me you want to risk this because you've run out of innovative ideas to flip my switch back on.”

“No..?” he says, not managing to even convince himself. “Because I know you love our mother. You have memories of her being an angel and being happy and dear to you, she reminds you of a time that you were human and we both know, you have _always_ hated being a vampire. Maybe, I think just maybe, if you see her, you'll find someone you can relate to because apparently I'm not enough anymore.” He had hoped to sound nonchalant, hoped to not be this broken about it, hoped his real fear in life won't be so visible but being without Stefan, or being with Ripper Stefan would be too much to handle. Several times he has had to deal with that and every time, he didn't handle it well... Which brought about feelings of guilt for killing Lexi... and then the floodgates of hell break loose after that. “And of course, maybe the fact that you can bond over the ripper thing.” he chipped in, trying to lighten the mood... and somewhat failing.

“You should go.” Stefan's voice surprised him just as much as it surprised Damon. He had seen the emotions on Damon's face, read them as clearly as he would read in a book and once again, something has shifted.

“Right.” was all Damon said before leaving the bar. 

Stefan stood looking at the door Damon had left through for a while then slowly, building conviction, he carefully shut his eyes and flipped his switch back on. He made a mental note to visit home sometime but his priority, was getting Caroline to turn hers back on as well.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

“Hi.” Damon says nonchalantly when the door opened to show Elena, dressed as though ready to step out.

“Damon, I told you–” She started to say, stopping when he held his hand up in her face.

“You're dating Liam, you like him... I get that. And before you start talking about you again, I'd like to say this.” He smiled, happy with himself. “..this has nothing to do with you.

“Really.” It wasn't really a question as she looked at him with skeptical eyes. He was dressed in a v-neck and denims, topping the look with a jacket and black sneakers she was sure she's never seen him wear before.

“I'm here for Bonnie.” He smiled, feeling too happy with himself.

“Going on a date?” Elena asked playfully.

“What if I am? Am i not allowed?” He raised a questioning brow at her.

“No. No that's not what I meant.” She muttered, confused.

“Hello Stranger.” Bonnie called from behind Elena, draped in only a towel and her smile was unstoppable when she saw how obviously Damon's eyes run over her. “What are you doing here?” She asked in an attempt to keep her composure.

“Picking you up for that date we didn't plan.” Damon responded with a wiggle of his brows and a suggestive wink, momentarily forgetting they weren't alone.

“Damon, it's Friday. What makes you think I wanna go out with you when I'd much rather be getting drunk and dancing randily in a bar?” Bonnie asked, mostly teasing.

“Who says that's not what we're going to be doing?” He teased, refusing to be fazed.

“In that get-up?” she pushed her chin out at him, eyes raking appreciatively over him.

“Yes, I can do a whole lot of stuff dressed like this. I even wore sneakers for easy movement.” To prove that, he did a little dance, then resumed his position leaning against the doorpost.

“I should... Yeah, gotta go. Have a date with Liam.” Elena whispered, feeling surreally like he was interrupting something and didn't wait before bolting out the door and down the stairs.

“Oh. Have fun!” Bonnie called after her.  
“Say hi for me.” Damon's words followed right after.

“Don't be a jerk.” Bonnie cast an accusing look at him.

“I _am_ being honest.” He said as he stepped into the room the girls shared together.

Bonnie looked at him quizzically. “Really.”

“Really. I'm happy for her.” He responded as he got close to her, stepping into her personal space. When she didn't move or protest in any way, he tugged on the towel and watched it fall, revealing inch after inch of skin that made his teeth ache with desire. “Now change into clothes so we can go out... before I start getting ideas.” he whispered, running a finger tentatively down her left boob.

Downstairs, Elena cursed her elevated hearing and the images that were starting to form in her head but told herself firmly that she must be taking something out of context because there was simply no way... like no way, that was possible between Damon and Bonnie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I watched the humanity coming back on scene over and over and I really don't think Stefan flipped the switch because of Lily but because of Damon.
> 
> I mean he _knew_ at some point that she wasn't being honest, that the words were Damon's but still flipped the switch.
> 
> I think Lily wasn't needed for that so that's how I'll write it. All Damon. That said, Lily and the heretics won't be in this story (at least not in the foreseeable future).
> 
> Hope you liked it. Lemme know what you think and if you have any suggestions, feel free to drop the prompts. If I can't accommodate all in this fic, I'll just write another for you.


	12. Cure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonnie and Elena come to terms with Bonnie's relationship with Damon...

“Looking ravishing.” Damon said for the millionth time that evening as he sat across the table from Bonnie. They had managed to get a seat at the campus diner and ordered their food moments earlier. It had taken a relatively quicker time for the food to come, which was a definite plus side.

“Stop saying that.” Damon repeated for what felt like the millionth time that night, thus initiating the one conversation thread they’ve been having since she dressed up that evening. Damon had made it a point to compliment every article of clothing she put on till she started to question the integrity of those compliments.

“Should I say looking ravenous?” He asked, unfazed.

“Stop asking that too.” Bonnie says around her mouthful of sandwich, glaring at him from across the table.

“What, I can't show appreciation to my lady now?” he hadn’t meant to grin as broadly as he did but imagining what kind of atrocious thoughts were running through Bonnie’s mind, was tickling him.

“What even?”

“This is our first date, Bonnie... allow me to soak in this sight and this moment.” Damon quipped.

Bonnie was tempted to tell him they’ve had several dates before this one but chose instead to shake her head in humor and gently point out; “Years of being alive has made you a player, Damon Salvatore.”

“I’m not playing…” He wiped his mouth, eyes momentarily getting serious. “This… this is a luxury.”

“That’s why you wore sneakers?” This time, it was her who attempted the casual tone to ease the mood.

“Hey, this is a college campus… I’m happy it doesn’t have naked adult–wannabees grinding on the floor.” Damon answered, biting the bait.

“That would have been a sight eh?” Bonnie couldn’t help the chuckle that bubbled out of her.

“Not that I’m against any type of nudity but I prefer it indoors.” Old fashioned as always, Damon provided unashamedly.

“Not a fan of PDA huh?” Bonnie wiggled her eyebrows in an effort to tease him. “Should have tried it when we were back in the prison world.”

“In hindsight, no. Thinking about how psychotic Kai was watching us the entire time is freaky enough.” He laughed when Bonnie cringed visibly. “Quite frankly, I’d pick an orgy with college students over a one on one show for Kai Parker.” He smiled, then reached across the table to take her left hand in his right one, gently caressing her knuckles when she looked at him quizzically. “And it’s a luxury because being here with you, like this… It’s something I didn’t think will happen.”

“I like that you came to my dorm to surprise me.” Bonnie heard herself say. She hadn’t thought that, so her words surprised even her.

“You didn’t sound pleased to see me though.” Damon pouted.

“I was.” She smiled. “Trust me, I was. I was just teasing you.”

Damon waited for her to finish the last of his food before getting up and holding his hand out. “Come on, let’s dance.”

“I’m not a good dancer.” Bonnie frowned. Admittedly, there were couples already dancing to the jazz music playing and she was well aware that Damon knew she could dance but figured it was worth a shot.

“Luckily, I am.” The vampire was unfazed.

Mighty good that did her. She wondered why she even bothered trying. “That doesn’t make me feel necessarily better.” She grumbled as he practically pulled her out of her seat and dragged her to the dance floor.

“I was hoping it would.” Damon laughed as he broke into the craziest dances he could think of. Being a party animal, he had learned many dance forms over the years and even though Bonnie seemed timid about it, he liked watching her laugh with every routine he broke out into. He was glad when the music turned to softer tunes, pulling Bonnie close by her waist, he whispered. “This is absolutely chiche.”

“Which part?” Bonnie asked, hands moving to rest on his biceps as she got in step effortlessly with him.

“You know in the movies, all the romantic stuff that happens on the dancefloor happens when the slow music starts to play in the bar.” Damon winked down at her.

“Really.” She chuckled.

“Yes, really.” He nodded.

“Romantic stuff like what?”

“Like this… You’re the best part of my day, Bonnie… best part of my week and simply the best thing that could ever happen to me.” His gaze had softened as he spoke.

“Because I’m taking your mind off things?”

“No. Because I’m not crazy.” He smiled wryly. “Because I’m myself, wide awake and aware and still in agreement with the fact that you’re a good thing.”

“You didn’t have to repeat the _thing_ though.” Bonnie laughed, laying her head gently on his chest. “Will you give it to her?”

“Of course. There’s no question about that.” Damon responded, not even needing to ask what she was referring to.

“She’ll be happy.” She mumbled.

“She would, I’m sure…” Damon says before quickly adding. “But now’s not the time to talk about her. It’s just me and you tonight, Bon.”

“Tonight…”

“And tomorrow… and over the weekend.”

She pulled back to look up at him, smiling. “Gotta pack some stuff then...”

“Bon, you won’t need them… You can wear my shirts if you feel the need to cover up.” Damon offered with a smile.

“Feel the need?” she chuckled.

“Yes… and I bought some supplies.” He cocked his head. “I mostly went with scents I’ve caught on you and what I saw you using back in 1994.”

“You went cosmetic shopping…” She had to bite her lip to keep from laughing at the mental image that came to mind. “For me.”

“Never done _that_ , got to confess.” His grin was unrestrained.

“Isn’t it too fast? I mean –”

“Bonnie… I just bought a few things and asked you to stay the weekend with me. I’d stay the weekend with you if not for your roommates. I’m not asking you to move in… at least not yet.”

 

 

The problem with small town colleges was that everyone knew everyone else, the compound was small and the places for hangouts were pretty much the same. Everyone went to the same diners, went to the same bars and hung out at the same places. It was pretty easy for you to bump – sometimes literally – into someone.

Was it a surprise to her when Damon had showed up at their door earlier that evening? Perhaps… How did she feel about him being there? Her initial response was frustration blended perfectly with feeling flustered.

And when Damon had said he was there for Bonnie, she had felt a pang of jealousy. Watching and hearing them interact had been something else. She had no words to explain what the sight was. All she remembered was a time when Bonnie hated vampires and hated, quite specifically, Damon Salvatore. She had a hard time trying to connect that knowledge to the new knowledge of what she had encountered that evening and later that very evening.

_Bonnie and Damon are friends._

_Bonnie and Damon could be more than just friends._

She had watched them, from her seat across the small diner, watched as Damon’s countenance had softened, watched when the smile slowly crept up Bonnie’s face and lit her up in a way she had only seen magic do to her best friend. Damon had lit Bonnie up several times that night like magic usually did. Elena had watched Damon practically drag Bonnie to the dancefloor and saw that goofy dance the pair had done before the slow dance started and was surprised that they didn’t pull away and get awkward.

She felt upset somehow, deep inside her heart. She had been on a date, for crying out loud. She was having fun with Liam, getting to know him, thinking of how to break the news to him about her being a vampire and then suddenly, her thoughts were crowded with thoughts of Damon and Bonnie.

Yes, she was upset. Of course, she was upset.

She pulled out the box she had recovered from Alaric when Damon had come back from the dead. Back then, Alaric had mentioned that she had actively chosen to forget Damon even after finding out that she had loved him. She had chosen to not allow that love and with Alaric back to being a human, she saw no point in dwelling on it.

Pulling the box of Damon’s stuff from the closet where she kept it, she opened the diary, pulled out the photo booth pictures of her and Damon and read the last entry in the book to herself:

_Dear me, if you're reading this, then somebody spilled the beans about your selective memory loss. My money is on Caroline. Yes, you loved Damon. You loved him with a passion that consumed you. And then, when Damon died, the void he filled was too deep, too dark. Facing an eternity without your soulmate, you went off the deep end. You turned into someone that you weren't-- a monster. Alaric can restore your lost memories — all you have to do is ask. But, I hope that you don't. I tried it the other way, and I didn't see an end to the pain. I want you to rediscover yourself in the absence of who defined you. If you feel any hope for the future at all, then you're already better off. You've been given a chance to start over. I want you to take it. I want you to be happy._

_**“If you feel any hope for the future at all, then you're already better off.”**_ She whispered to herself over and over again. A part of her felt like she was betraying a great love between her and Damon but whom was she supposed to trust in an event like this? She had chosen to trust herself. After all, she had been the one who had written the note. She trusted herself to know that only she knew what feelings and circumstances had pushed her to that decision.

She curled up on her bed, allowing herself to feel confused. The last thing she realized before sleep came that night was that it was almost 2:00am and Bonnie wasn’t back from her date with Damon.

She didn’t come back on Saturday either.

By the time Bonnie got back from, wherever she had spent the weekend, it was late noon on Sunday and Elena had had a long time to think about everything.

In that time, she had thought about her life now, what it meant and what made her happy. She thought about what she thought of love and realized, innately, that she wasn’t ready to feel intense love for someone.

She realized she was in a place of peace, a place of casualness and playfulness… a place where she was happy with Liam. There were no confessions of undying love but Liam was human and she liked him. He was innocent, untainted, pure in a way that attracted her to him.

“You’re back.” She says with a smile when Bonnie entered their room. She had been lying in bed, contemplating dinner.

“Yeah…” Bonnie responded, trying for a smile but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. She walked tersely to her bed and plopped down onto it. A scenario was playing in her head as she realized what Elena may have realized in her absence. Damon had picked her up for a date and she had come home two days later. There was an obvious truth and certainty in the preceding events that made her feel… guilty.

“Hey have you had dinner? I was thinking of either ordering in or going out to get something I’m not so sure.” Elena sat up in her bed as she spoke. The silence was killing her. Not once in their friendship have things been this tense. Bonnie was the one she always talked to about everything… the most embarrassing things. It was always Bonnie but coming to this point where they both lay in their respective beds, silent and unrecognizing of the other person’s presence was too much to bear. She wanted to talk to Bonnie… about Damon. About what _could_ be happening between them and she was certain the witch wanted to lay some on her too but she didn’t know how to breach the topic.

“No, I had a late lunch and I don’t really feel hungry.” Bonnie responded with a smile.

“Okay. Maybe I’ll call Liam and make a date out of it.” Elena smiled as she hopped off her bed and dove into her closet.

 

 

[I can’t keep doing this.] Bonnie texted the moment Elena was out the door.

[What are you talking about?] She got back almost immediately.

[I’m sorry.] For some reason, coming home to meet Elena was just adrenalizing every guilt she’s ever felt since things

[I’m coming over.]

[Wait for me, ok bon bon?] Damon’s text sounded urgent.

“Bonnie…” Damon muttered when he pushed the door to the dorm room the girls shared open to see Bonnie sitting cross legged on her bed as though ready to launch herself into another dimension.

Slowly, she opened her eyes to show him eyes full of distress as she spoke what was truly on her mind. “I’m sorry… I just… I can’t do this. This is Elena.”

“ _Now?_ After everything?” Damon looked as shocked as he sounded, stepping into the room and doing his best to not let his nervousness show.

“Damon I’m not joking.” She pouted.

“Neither am I.” He moved to sit across from her on the bed, liftingbher face up by her chin. “Look at me… talk to me. Explain for me to understand what you’re trying to say.”

“Elena is my best friend, Damon… We’ve been friends since we were kids. We’re more like sisters now.”

“But you’re not.” The vampire felt the need to point out.

“That’s beside the point, Damon.” Bonnie countered. “It’s a friendship code not to date your friend’s ex.”

“You and I started whatever this is, before I broke up with her.” Again with the not helping, Damon chastised himself. This was unfamiliar territory for him. He was usually on the other end of this conversation. When he was with Elena, he was constantly feeling selfish and needing reassurance. This was so darn surreal. And new.

“Damon, that’s –”

“Hear me out, Bonnie… this thing between us started in a moment of weakness and desperation. We both needed someone and happened to be the only two people around. I don’t think it happened because we didn’t have any options but I’m not ruling that possibility out.” Okay... That definitely did not help anyone. Damn this was hard. “But the reality is that it happened, Bon… and I didn’t regret that it did. I still don’t. And I’m relieved that Elena doesn’t want me because _I_ don’t have to feel guilty about wanting you.” _jeez, selfish much?_ his brain oozed cynicism. “Yes, I’m selfish bon bon… but you already knew that. And sometimes, you’re allowed to be selfish.”

“She’s my best friend.” Bonnie mumbled for what felt like a thousand times that day.

“And Stefan is my brother.” Because somewhere in his head, Damon was convinced of all people, Elena should understand how crazily people's feelings can make them act. “I’m not asking you to be like me and I’m not saying that _I_ am your happiness but Bonnie, after everything you’ve given, everything you’ve sacrificed, lost and endured, if anyone deserves happiness, it’s you and I won’t judge you if that happiness happens to be with your brother if you had one.” His thumb brushed gently across her left cheek. “If Elena is your best friend, your sister, like you say… she won’t have a problem with you being with me.”

“You’re the love of her life.” 

“Possibly.” Damon nodded, not having enough strength to actively disagree. “Which means whatever reservations she’ll have about us being together would be because of me so give me some time.”

“To do what?” Bonnie asked, frowning. She hadn't expected that.

“To fix it.” “Give me time to really break up with Elena and in my own way, ease some of your guilt.”

“I don’t know about that, Damon.”

“Just give me some time… ok?” He coaxed, thumb brushing along her cheek again, having formed a rhythm.

“I felt so bad earlier when I got in… I’ve never felt that way. Not even when I was dating Jeremy.”

“Don’t remind me.” Damon frowned.

“Possessive much?” Bonnie finally chuckled.

“You have no idea.” He finally smiled then leaned in to rest his forehead against hers. He was already thinking of how to go about this to avoid a bigger mess.

 

 

“Is that what I think it is?” Stefan asked from when he sat across the table from Damon. He had fessed up and told Damon about his humanity switch being back on because apparently, he was terrible at pretending. Frankly, he was surprised Caroline hadn’t caught onto it considering how much he’s been trying over the last few days since his switch was turned, to get her to flip hers too.

“Yes. Bonnie brought it back from the 1994 prison world.” Damon responded calmly, pushing the cure and it’s case further down the table to Stefan.

“Elena.” Was all Stefan could say.

“I know.” Damon didn’t say much after that, just carefully sat there watching Stefan’s reaction to the cure. That _lust._

“Why are you showing it to me?” He finally asked, lifting his head to look up at Damon curiously.

“Because you’re my brother and I’ve always known how much you hate being a vampire.”

“You’re offering the cure to me?” Okay. Many things he expected of Damon, this was not it. For starters, he had expected Damon to make those emotional _I’m your anchor_ jokes after he figured out he had been the trigger to flipping his switch back on. He had expected a lot of things – and quite frankly, had gotten just what he expected – but this, he hadn’t.

“Well I can’t take it.” Damon shrugged, opting for an air of nonchalance. “I like being a vampire, you see?”

“I appreciate that you thought of me first but we both know she should have it.” Stefan mumbled after a while, pushing the cure back on the table to Damon.

“Yeah…” Damon agreed subtly, picking up the box.

“Will you be fine?” Stefan asked when his brother stood up to go.

“With her being human again?” Someday soon, he realized he had to tell Stefan about Bonnie and risk the possible blows that will come but this moment wasn’t it. At least that’s what he would like to believe. “Yeah I’ll be. She’s been through a lot… She should have this.”

“Yeah.” Stefan agreed.

“Deep down, I was hoping you’ll reject it.” Damon says in all clarity, giving Stefan’s shoulder a gentle squeeze as he passed by him. “I’m really glad you did.”

“You could have just let me have the moment, Damon.” Stefan grumbled, laughing lightly to himself.

 

 

Tuesday.

Wednesday.

Thursday.

Finally, Damon gathered the courage and drove all the way to campus. Of course the timing was wrong but he couldn't possibly put it off the moment he felt the strength.

“Have time to talk?” He texted the moment he got to campus.

“Sure.” the reply came through almost fifteen minutes later and Elena joined him on the bench under the trees in front of their hostel about thirty minutes later.

“Do you like him?” Damon didn't waste time with pleasantries.

“You mean Liam?” She asked, taken aback before slowly nodding her head. “Yes.”

“Are you happy with him?” He asked again.

“Yes.” She answers again then curiously, “Why are you asking me?”

“I need to make sure you’re doing well before saying what I have to say.” Damon replied honestly. He would so like for this conversation not to happen but for Bonnie to feel okay, it was necessary.

“It’s about Bonnie, isn’t it?” Elena asked perceptively.

“No it’s about me.” Damon smiled wryly. “I seem to have developed feelings for Bonnie.”

“I noticed. Gotta tell you, it was odd to see you like that.” and she actually chuckled, which surprised even her.

“If you had your memories, I’m sure it won’t be a strange sight for you.” he pointed out calmly.

“You know everyone says I shouldn’t have erased you from my memories.” Elena says after a while, softly, almost as if talking to herself.

“If the roles were reversed, I wouldn’t have.” Damon pointed out, his smile bitter, for some odd reason. “You said you wanted a love that consumes you.”

“I wrote a note to myself before Alaric compelled me. I think I had that. I’m sure I had that with you and I’m sure if I allow myself, I can have that again. But I don’t want to.” Elena mumbled honestly. She wondered for a while, why she hadn't sat down with Damon earlier to explain this basic truth to him? All they had done earlier was throw blame and shade at each other. “Is that a betrayal of the love we had?” she whispered as an after thought.

“You’ve done some crazy things in the past, Elena, but you always went with your gut and mostly, if I hadn’t interfered, it turned out well.”

“You want me to trust my gut on this.” it wasn't really a question.

“With or without memories of me, Elena… your instincts don’t lie.” but Damon responded anyway.

“I had a hard time after you left. After you died. I think I got more than I bargained for when I asked for a love that consumes me.” Her smile was smile, her gaze locked on her fingers as they entwined in her lapnover and over again, the only sign of her nervousness. “I couldn’t handle it and I’m happy… I’m happy you have someone. That way I don’t feel so bad about the choices I made that led to this.”

“You should know… Bonnie and I happened in the prison world, before I knew you lost your memories.” If he was going to be honest, he figured he should be honest through and through, not half way. “It isn’t your fault entirely that we’ve come to this and Bonnie isn’t just someone helping me through the pain of losing you.” That, needed to be clear to both Elena and Bonnie. “I think fate just decided to be considerate so that we both won’t feel the full brunt of betraying that love. If I had come back to see you grieving and hoping, I would have been shattered and if I had come back expecting a wholehearted reunion and us picking up where we left off, you would have felt pressured.” Uncertainly, he reached out to give her hand a squeeze where it lay trembling so lightly in her lap. “This way, we can both live our lives without the unnecessary feelings of guilt and insufficiency.”

“Yeah…” Elena's voice was but a whisper. Yes, she didn't remember her feelings for him but it was in moments like this when Damon Salvatore was kind and tender with her, that she wondered if she made a mistake where he was concerned.

“And about Bonnie…” his voice cut through her thoughts.

“She’s my best friend. I didn’t lose any of my memories of her so believe me when I say this, I need her to be happy. On her own, with you or with anyone else. If she’s happy, I am.” and she meant that

Smiling gently, Damon reached inside the inner pocket of his jacket to pull out the box that held the cure, holding it out to Elena. “She brought this for you. Wanted me to be the one to give it to you.”

“The cure.” she whispered, the tears that had gathered in her eyes earlier finally breaking through and spilling down her cheeks.

“Still alive in 1994.” Damon smiled, turning her hand over and setting it in her palm. “It’s right there, Elena… everything you’ve ever wanted since the day you became a vampire.”

“Thank you…” she managed after minutes of trying to get her breath to calm down long enough to say something.

“Say thank you to Bonnie when you next see her.” Damon sat there, proud of himself as he kept her company. She was overwhelmed and he understood that. Bonnie would like it if he stayed with her till she was fine, he told himself as he sat with her till she calmed down.

 

[Where are you?] Damon typed and sent to Bonnie, mere moments after he was done talking with Elena. He had wanted to just go home and give it a few days but something kept nudging at his mind till he had to find her.

_[Library.]_ The short reply came.

_[Meet me up front.]_ Damon sent, then quickly added _[Don’t ask why.]_

He drove straight to the library, which wasn’t that much of a distance from where he was, and was happy to see Bonnie outside the library, the late afternoon sun’s rays doing wonders to her silhouette. He parked the car right at the entrance, turned off the ignition and climbed the short steps to her. She was curious and he could tell. “I was going home but thought I should tell you something first before I leave.” He said as he got to her.

“You came to campus?” was the only thing she could ask.

“Don't compare yourself to Elena... Or Katherine.” He rushed to say, taking a step closer as if afraid she might turn away from him after that declaration. “Don't expect a love that consumes you because take if from someone who's been there not once but twice, it’s not healthy, bon bon... It drains you of your very essence, blurs the line of good and evil and when you lose, your whole life comes crashing down. I don't wish to ever do that to you.” He smiled wryly down at her. “I don't wish for you to ever deny yourself for my sake. I love that you’re strong, confident and powerful as hell. Those are the best parts of you and I will hate to see you lose that confidence because of me.” His hand came up to gently rest on her shoulder. “I can't promise you a love that consumes you, Bonnie... But I can promise you love. Pure, selfless, loyal, sacrificial love... I will protect you and stand up for you no matter what. I will choose you over and over again in my own intense and simple way and if that consumes you, then fine... but I'm just going to love you the best I can Bonnie, and I hope to god it's unlike anything I've ever felt... positively.”

He expected her to say something but she didn’t. Instead, she just stood there, almost a foot shorter than him and looking up into his eyes with the sincerest eyes he had ever seen. He must have startled her. Slowly, she reached up, resting her hand on his forearm and sliding them down to grasp his hands in hers. She stepped closer to him and Damon’s breath caught in his throat as a tirade of emotions overtook his thoughts, holding him captive.

Everything moved in slow motion as her arms moved bonelessly around his neck and pull his head down, standing on the tip of her toes to reach him. Her soft lips brushed against his almost shyly and Damon swallowed, smelling and tasting the faint aroma of her berry lip gloss. Relaxing suddenly, he dipped his head and his arms moved as though having thoughts of their own, yearning for her, they reached for her, pulling her smack against him as his lips responded to hers in the same intensity. _“I want her…”_ he thought, over and over again as his lips devoured hers.

Damon watched with fascination as she pulled back from the kiss, her eyes parting slowly. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, I hope I can make you happy.”

“You already do.” Bonnie whispered with a smile up at him then leaned up on her tip toes to press a gentle kiss to his lips, hers barely brushing his. “And sorry I was being silly earlier.”

“You were right. And I’m sorry for all the uncertainty you had to–”

“That’s alright.” Bonnie cut him off with a finger to his lips. “Wanna study with me?”

“I’d rather die again.” Damon responded, all thoughts of romance out of his head the moment he heard studying.

“Even if it’ll make me happy?” She tried to be cutesy, batting her eyes and pouting her lips for special effects.

“You have a limited number of times you can use that before it gets old. I advise you choose wisely.” Damon countered sternly but his mild chuckle took whatever sting there was, out of his words.

“Get out of here.” She laughed, patting him on the back lightly as he turned away to leave.

Bonnie’s smile remained on her face till Damon’s car disappeared around the corner and she went back inside. In the back of her mind, the curiosity of what Damon was doing on campus probed, but she chose to actively ignore it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm probably going to end this one in a few chapters and try working on either a prequel or sequel (or maybe both?)
> 
> Hope you liked it?


	13. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone settles into their place...  
> Well, almost everyone.

Elena was still overwhelmed by her conversation with Damon. Yes, admittedly, after Damon had come back from that prison world and tried to convince her that they were meant to be together, she had seen a different side to the vampire but more and more, she got exposed to whom he was now and without meaning to, she started to realize just how possible it was that she fell in love with him.

The level of maturity. His ability to own up to his mistakes and yes, in typical Damon fashion, breaking a few necks and draining blood vessels dry is more like it but sitting on a lovers' bench in a crowded college campus talking about his feelings for Bonnie and hers for Liam, she saw a reasonable, mature man and that took her a bit off guard. 

“Thank you so much!” She all but screams when she walked into their dorm room and saw Bonnie standing in front of her closet. She run the rest of the way and gave her best friend a big hug, holding her firmer and with more ease than she's done in a while.

“What did I do?” Bonnie asked, a bit carefully even though her arms instinctively moved around Elena's much slender form to return the hug.

“Damon gave me the cure. He said you brought it back from 1994. Why didn’t you give it to me?” Elena asked, pulling back from the hug enough to look into Bonnie's face but still keeping her arms around her.

Bonnie shrugged. She had reasons for that at the time, she was sure, but at the moment, being asked that question from nowhere, her brain went a bit blank. “At the time, I thought you two were together and well, he’s the one who wanted you to have the cure. He’s also the one who directed me back to that island so I thought it was befitting that he gave it to you.” She explained, hoping that'll be enough.

Elena grinned broadly, shrugging her shoulders in the process. “Doesn’t matter… I’m happy I have it.”

“Me too.” Bonnie responded, genuinely happy. Damon hadn't told her about giving the cure to Elena but considering what he had said earlier and Elena's sudden change in attitude towards her, she imagined Damon had done – to the best of his abilities – the “fixing” he had told her he would do.

“Thank you.” Elena offered another bright, genuine smile. She was already thinking about what to do and how to plan her reentry into the human world once again...

“Anytime.” Bonnie's words seemed to cut through whatever mental fog Elena had buried herself under.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~©~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Caroline has been thinking a lot these days. She's thinking about all things and everything since she got her humanity back on. She was thinking about people, and places, and circumstances, and scenarios and things that happened in the past... Heck, all day every day, she's restarting her life in her head and going through the memories, arranging them chronologically to try and make sense of it, to try and get some of her usual level of control back... But that was driving her crazy...

It simply did not make sense that he was thinking about **_him._** Absolutely no way in hell...

Somehow, in order to get some semblance of control in her life, she chose to come back to the people who allowed her to have that control and although she had to apologize her way through, she was sure it was the right decision to come back to campus and the right decision to pick up the role of event organizer at Alaric and Jo's wedding. Getting to boss people around tends to get on their nerves less when they're doing something for someone they care about.

The days have gone well, she was starting to catch a hint of tension between Damon and Bonnie but was actively telling herself she will choose to not believe anything, or speculate, until binding evidence is staring her right in the face... And god, did she hope she never got that evidence.

 

Days of apologies –she’s even apologized to Damon for messing with his brother – and silently resolved that the Salvatore brothers somehow reminded her of another set of brothers she had encountered... The Michaelson brothers. Perfect balance of love and hate that keeps them alive years after being vampires and speaking of...

Caroline has presents in her hands and is about to put them away when she sees Stefan in front of her and quickly turns around, though she freezes in place and doesn't run away. It was too late at this point. If she had been paying attention instead of thinking about _the uncanny similarities between the Salvatore and Michaelson brothers,_ she would have sensed him and fled but alas she was too caught to even feign weariness.

Stefan was... amused and that much was evident in his tone as he muttered from behind her, “You're avoiding me.”

Caroline turns around and tries to play dumb which would have worked, she believed, if her body posture earlier hadn't been one of total defeat. “What? No. I'm not avoiding you. I'm trying to organize this whole circus here. I mean, did you see where they put the bar?”

Stefan merely, and indulgently, gives her a look. “Caroline.” He pauses for a moment. “Can we talk?”

After a moment, during which Caroline weighs the odds and thinks this through, she nods. She figured this conversation was going to happen at some point anyways and Stefan did look to be in a happy mood. She directed him to a nearby bench near the barn and they sat down, attempting to make small conversation and supposedly, trying to catch up.

“Alright, just say it-- I'm wrong, I'm making this about me, I'm being selfish.” Stefan sighed. He was having a bit of a monologue with Caroline merely nodding as he mentioned Damon destroying the house and buying new, to his best of knowledge, inferior replacement. Of course he trusted Damon's judgement when it came to such. Hell, every renovation and cleaning done at home was spearheaded and championed by his brother, who also happened to be the one who did the original design of the interior. He was just biased to old stuff. But somehow, he had to say _something_ because otherwise, they'd just sit in tensed silence.

Caroline seemed to finally find her voice. “No. Sorry, obsessively wanting things to be a certain way is pretty low on the selfish scale. Forcing someone to turn off their humanity on the other hand? That...” because why keep dodging the subject? Something told her if she didn't bring it up, Stefan wasn't going to either.

“Hmm. Yeah, that's uh... that's way up there.” The vampire agreed mildly, somehow smiling at Caroline's obvious inner turmoil. He sees her hand resting between them on the bench and squeezes it with his own.

“Yeah. Do you hate me?” Because somehow, once she had started, she better get all the tough points out.

Stefan looked fairly scandalized by the mere suggestion. “No, of course I don't hate you. Doesn't mean that I don't hate the way you handled things.”

Caroline immediately agreed. “Well, that makes two of us.” She pulled her hand away, and sighed nervously. “I made a list... of uhm, all the things that I've done since I fell for you. It started last summer when you moved away. I started obsessing over where you were, wondering why you weren't returning my calls. I told you I hated you when I felt ignored, missing my mom's final moments because I was kissing you. and then she died...”

Stefan interrupts her, hoping to tell her her mom didn't die because she kissed a guy for less than five minutes. “Caroline – ”

But she continues on as if he hadn't spoken. “– And all that I needed was for you to tell me that you felt something for me, and you didn't. And it affected me so deeply that I did the worst possible thing a vampire can do-- I turned off my humanity. And when I thought I couldn't do anything else, I got you to turn off yours.”

“Well, I forgive you.” Because at this point, judging from the look on her face, her posture and the tone of voice, that was all Stefan could say.

“Yeah, but, that's the point, Stefan. The old Caroline wouldn't have forgiven me. She would've smacked me and said "What the hell are you doing?" And I hate the way that this has made me feel.”

“That's because you're a control freak who's lost control. I feel the same way when I'm around you. That's what falling for somebody is. It's being vulnerable. It's –” He grabs her hand again. “–giving up control.”

“I know...” Caroline agreed somberly. “but where I'm at right now in my life, with the guilt and the grief, control is all I have. And I don't think that I can give that up.”

 

“That’s okay… I’m patient.” Stefan mumbles, nodding his head in understanding. In any case, he had told Liz Forbes he would wait for the perfect timing before pursuing what they have... Or _could_ have.

“I don’t want you to wait for me, Stefan… I really can’t have that.” and she couldn't... Because as if on cue, she thought of the other brother... The one who was, waiting to be her last love... His words echoing in her head as though she just heard them: _He's your first love. I intend to be your last, however long it takes._

“That’s my prerogative.” Stefan responded stubbornly, then steered the conversation away from the doom and gloom. They had to talk about it because Caroline needed to talk about it but with that topic tackled, he found no reason to keep prodding so they sat there in mild chatter before Caroline hopped up and kicked into overdrive again, ready to salvage whatever mess has been created in her few minutes leave of absence.

 

A FEW HOURS LATER:

 

“Neither one of us should be here right now. We've spent our lives dodging fate and beating the odds. But, because we did, I got to meet you, the most beautiful, hilarious and intimidatingly brilliant woman I have ever known. You inspire me, you've shown me that happiness is actually something that I can have in my life. And so...” Alaric grabbed the ring from Tyler. “I promise to be with you, and love you, and to dodge fate with you–” He put the ring on Jo's finger. “–for the rest of our lives.”

Jo tears up and Alaric dramatically offers her his handkerchief, announcing to the group that the essence of a man's handkerchief is for a woman to cry into, earning him a moment's laughter from the group and cheering Jo up in the process.

“Josette?” The reverend prompted.

“Oh god, that's a tough act to follow.” She sniffed, wiping the stray tear trail off her cheek and handing the handkerchief back to Alaric who took it with a flair, definitely in character... Whom he was trying to be, Jo had no idea but she liked it. _Here it goes_ she thought as she took the ring from Elena and turned her hand in his so she was holding his, and took a tentative step forward. Looking into his eyes, she started; “Today is mostly an ordinary day… the sun rose, babies were born, people slept in and we just so happened to be getting married. But the not-so ordinary part is how we are making promises to each other for the rest of our days. So I promise to always laugh with you and to never go to bed angry. To comfort you in times of sorrow, including rough football seasons, to always leave the lights on in the bathroom, to mysteriously take three hours to make a simple omelette, to understand how many grown up children you have.–” She looked accusingly at Rick’s students who had come to the wedding, then chuckled, unable to hold the stern face. “I promise to love you, to listen to your advice, and occasionally take it, to never take score… even if I'm totally winning, to always admire your huge, strong, kind and determined heart, and listen, for as long as it takes for you to feel heard.” She paused to return his smile, taking another step closer till she was in his space and Alaric still didn't move, looking awed. “I vow to watch in awe as you dodge fate and be your unrelenting cheer squad on the days it feels too much. I’ll be supportive in the times you need to be alone and carefully fold your socks because I know that makes you happy.” her voice had dropped on its own accord, speaking the vows just to Alaric. “I believe there is no time or place I'm more content than when you're close. Because of this and so, so much more… I believe that I will always love you, Alaric Saltzman...” she carefully slid the ring onto his finger and didn't wait for the Reverend's permission before Rick's lips found hers.

Somewhere in the distance, she heard the faint “then by the power vested in me...” but she didn't catch the rest of it as she got lost in the taste of her husband's lips. Her husband. Who'd have thought.

 

“You tease.” Damon whispered as he stepped right into her arms as though rehearsed. The wedding ceremony had gone on without any glitches and the entire time he had been standing there behind Alaric, his eyes had been locked on Bonnie. It was crazy, really, all things considered. His eyes has found the witch the moment she had stepped into the room, – fashionably late probably caught up in a task Caroline had thrown her way, – and had refused to leave.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Bonnie replied in a manner she hoped was “innocent”. And to be fair, she was innocent of whatever Damon was accusing her of, considering she hadn't made any deliberate moves to tease him in any way all night.

“Oh yeah?” Damon questioned with a quirk of his brow, looking down at her as they swayed to the soft music. “So it’s just a coincidence that you wore that dress? That high slit was taunting me all night.”

Bonnie had to fight the desire to laugh but still managed to let a smile escape. “I didn’t have you in mind when I wore it but if you like it, that’s an added bonus.”

“I don’t believe that…” Damon, apparently, was choosing to stick with this particular construct. Then grinning as a memory came to mind, he softly whispered, “When going on a date, one has to put some effort in their clothes so that her date will put some effort in taking them off.”

Bonnie had to bite into her lip as the memory came to her too... That moment when she had been so frustrated, Damon had carried her on his back and gone speeding through the woods with her till they were in the next town. Back when she was fighting this feeling between them, back when their worlds revolved around each other, when all they could think about was coming back home... to be with people... The same people who have been blocked out of the intimate moment they were sharing, locked in a memory only familiar to them. “Who says the clothes always have to come off?” She whispers and enjoyed the wide grin that spread in slow motion on Damon's face.

“Can’t wait to be alone with you…” The vampire blurted out, leaning in to press a tender kiss to the tip of her nose.

“Mmmhm.” was Bonnie's only response.

“Yes… I want to make love to every inch of your skin so believe me, that dress _will_ come off tonight.” Damon threatened then combed his mind for a possibility that he's had the _“I'm dating Bonnie”_ conversation with Stefan and realized he hadn't... Which he found, interesting to say the least... Oh, Stefan would be peeved if this is how he found out.

“Tonight?” Bonnie's voice cut through Damon's reverie. “Damon, I have other plans.”

“Lies.” he deadpanned, rolling his eyes at how miserable she was at lying.

“We should probably stop…” Bonnie whispered, eyes darting around quickly before finding their way back to Damon's. With her voice lowered, she added; “People are listening.”

“I don’t think they are. They’re probably trying _not_ to listen but are hearing because of the hyper senses.” Damon shrugged, unlike Bonnie, his voice very normal and at its usual pitch.

“You have no shame.” Bonnie was only a tad scandalized.

“About what? Making love to my woman?” he added with a wink.

“Your woman.” That took her by surprise and she mused over the words.

“Yes. My woman.” He reemphasized. “Start getting used to that.”

The rest of the night went by as usual. There was dancing... And drinking... _A lot_ of drinking, and then the witches had done some crazy spells that he had been so happy Bonnie was on his side. First it was just the Gemini witches clasping hands and igniting fireworks, then it seemed like all witches at the wedding were invited to do the unspeakable. Of course that bit of nonsense was put at the very latter part of the night when the normal people, the day walkers, had gone back to their normal lives.

Much later, the bridal train were separated from the rest of the party and that was where Damon lost her. For a brief moment after he left Rick and Jo's apartment, he considered going to Bonnie's dorm and following up on that promise/threat he had made earlier but thought against it. She should be resting tonight as he imagined she had a tiring day too.

He got home from the wedding and drove to the Salvatore boarding house in a daze, loosening his tie as he walked up the stairs. If he must admit it to himself, he was quite tired from being social all day and not having the liberty to compel people away from him. As he opened the door, his heart began to race.

He had fantasized about this on his way home more times than was healthy, but there lay Bonnie's gorgeous black dress, the one that had unravelled him all evening, on the floor next to his bed. Muffled sounds of the shower running flowed out the narrow gap, as the chocolate hardwood door to his bathroom had been left ajar. 

He didn't want to think. If he hesitated, he feared he would lose his nerve. Or his mind. Damon stripped and quietly opened the door. ... and time stood still. He took in every detail of this familiar room as if for the first time - the object of his intense affection was hot, wet and completely naked merely a few strides away.

The room was dimly lit; only a solitary, warm light above the shower had been left on. The air was thick with steam but that wasn't why he was having trouble breathing; to think he got this feeling every time he was with her this way... Saw her this way. Fogged up glass blurred her form but Damon could see her hands were lathering shampoo in her hair.

He reached for the handle and slowly, quietly pulled against the magnetic closures. They gave without a sound. He took in her naked form and had a sense of déjà vu, but she was more lovely and stimulating than he had imagined it would be, all evening. She continued to work the shampoo in as the spray of hot water hit his feet and he took the final step, slipping silently into the shower behind her. They were no more than a foot apart, but she didn't seem to notice his presence, either too good at pretending – which was the more likely option – or was enjoying the shower a little too much. Damon leaned against the warm tile and watched as she pirouetted to rinse the foam from her hair.

Her breasts raised and lowered as she vigorously worked the suds out. Her pale skin sparkled as the light danced off the sheets of water running over her. She faced back to the spray and rinsed the soap off her face. Damon could contain himself no longer. He reached softly and slipped his hands across her skin above the curve of her hips, longing to wrap his arms around that tight little belly and pull her close. She seemed to jump, but only slightly, and to his delight, she leaned back against him slowly and softly. As his throbbing cock slid up her soapy back, Bonnie turned her head slightly and glanced back at Damon's face, then cooed and pulled his arms tight around her waist.

"I knew it was you," Her sweet voice whispered.

Damon slowly ran his hands over her soft skin, sliding slowly up to cup each breast, gently kneading the globe and then softly running his index finger over each erect nipple. He pulled her close, his engorged penis pressed between them made his duplicity more clear. He wanted to savor the embrace that they were sharing, but also wanted to slam his cock into every opening she possessed that could fit him... Oh the dilemma.

As the conflict raged between his mind and loins, he continued to pepper her with little kisses on her neck, shoulders and back. Damon nibbled at the little emerald studs in her ears. The more time he spent with Bonnie Bennet – in and out of her presence – the more confirmation he got that she embodied every fantasy he had about a woman. Strong, sexual and purpose driven. She had a whole world _outside of him_ that she seemed to enjoy. A life of chasing dreams and following passions while maintaining loyalty to those who matter... Bonnie Bennet didn't treat him as the center of her world and that made him think about how to cure that sickness... That tendency of his to make a person his whole life till it consumed him.

Bonnie Bennet silently, with everything she stood and lived for, prompted him to think more about what he wanted out of life.

Damon was yanked back to reality as her hand snaked between them and grabbed his cock.

"I'm glad you joined me," she cooed as she spun to face him without losing hold of him.

He still had not found his voice, but tilted his head forward, leaned in and found her soft, full lips with his. Their tongues snaked out between parted lips, sending a delightful tingle throughout his body. 

Like a blind sculptor, his hands explored all the curves and edges of her perfect body. His hands lingered on her fabulous ass, lifting her to him as their passionate kiss continued. Damon slid his hand around and ran his fingers over her labia. She moaned into his mouth and pulled his head closer to deepen the sensual kiss. He flicked her clit and her moans crescendoed as two fingers slipped into her tight, warm pussy and his thumb took over the clit work. He broke the kiss and leaned forward to suck one of her glorious nipples, his other hand continued to knead her firm ass. Her hips pushed against his thrusting fingers as her fingers locked in his hair in an effort to gain balance. She lifted a leg, wrapping it around his waist, inadvertently opening herself up more for his fingers to torment her with unbridled pleasure that had her moaning.

The scent of her arousal filled his nose as her inevitable orgasm began. She writhed in his grasp and gasped for air. Her entire body quivered and Damon gradually slowed the steady manipulation of her clit, the probing of his fingers. He had continued to lightly flick her nipples and transitioned to gentle sucking, then soft kisses on her chest.

Her sigh signalled the end of her orgasm and Damon pulled her to himself, holding her limp body close. Her chest heaved and her head snuggled in the crook of his neck as her body recovered from the flood of pleasure.

Her breathing had nearly returned to normal as she began kissing his chest and reached for his cock. It was no longer steely, having lost some of its force while Damon had focused on satisfying her desires. Her free hand skimmed over his arms, shoulders and chest, tickling the tiny hairs - as if the stimulation of his cock in her soft hand wasn't enough.

Her legs were both planted firmly on the floor now somehow and she kissed her way down his chest, lingering to lick his nipples ... then down his stomach. Her second hand clasped Damon's cock and she stopped her stroking as her tongue licked a circle around the head then flicked the V on the underside. Every nerve in his body felt the pleasure as it rippled through him, his eyes locked on her, mesmerized. 

The tension built and built inside him till Damon thought he would climax at any moment but Bonnie skillfully kept him at the edge of his climax. Her eyes gleamed up at him, filled with longing. And then she opened her mouth, stuck out her tongue and ... screamed! Damon almost had a heart attack as Bonnie shot to her feet and scurried to the back wall of the shower. His hyper-sensitized cock was blasted with ice-cold water and he shamelessly screamed more like a little girl than Bonnie had.

She was trying to use him as a human shield as he struggled to turn off the damn water. 

When they finally managed to get out, they were a bundle of shock, shivers and nervous laughter. They had been vaguely aware that the water was no longer hot, but it seemed to turn into ice so suddenly when the water heater had been completely drained.

Bonnie sprinted from the bathroom and dove under the sheets on his bed. Damon instinctively reached for a towel, but quickly came to his senses and made his own trail of wet footprints.

They tucked the coverings tightly around their intermingled bodies, trying to warm from their shocking shower, and began to chat. 

Bonnie whispered how much happier she's been since that day in front of the library and how much she missed him because they've not been together since then, just talking on the phone. Shyly, – almost – she whispered how glad she was to be with someone mature, who challenged her to be better and sensing how emotional this was going to be, she playfully told Damon how she had enjoyed his eyes on her all night. It had, in a very strange way, made her feel good. 

Damon dried her with the sheet and she laughed, which inspired him to tickle her and he was rewarded with more laughter. When the laughter died down, she whispered teasingly: “I guess I'll have to start all over,” 

Bonnie pushed the covers off of them and sat up, her ass conveniently positioned next to his chest while he laid back. Absentmindedly, he began to run his hand over her smooth thighs and ass. She wasted no time swallowing his waking cock.

"Mmmm," they moaned simultaneously. Her muffled sound vibrated through his now semi hard cock. Her hips dipped and swayed each time Damon's fingers neared her pussy and he watched her head slide up and down his cock, daring him to lightly brush against her pussy. When his hands completely left her body, she moaned longingly and tried to look up to see what he was doing. 

Damon propped his head up with a couple of pillows and scooped her up by her hips directly onto his chest, exposing her pussy to his face. Bonnie let out a loud moan when Damon's tongue found her clit and she took his whole cock into her mouth, the head sliding down her throat. Slowly, she pulled back before her gag reflex would be a bother and worked up a rhythm while sucking him off, her mouth moving up and down on his very hard cock.

Damon's hands roamed her back, her ass, her thighs, enjoying every sound she made as his hands roamed her body while his tongue flicked her clit, kissed her labia, slipped between them and savored the very essence of Bonnie Bennet. He pulled his face back just long enough to work today o fingers into her, slowly twisting them around to get comfortable. He knew when she got comfortable because she started riding his fingers hungrily at the same pace she was sucking him off and Damon was damn near losing his mind. As his erratic pleasure grew, so did his desire to please her, fingers thrusting into her, lips making a feast out of her clit, reveling in every drop of juice that flowed out of her till finally;

"I'm gonna cum!" He said to her. She didn't slow. She began grunting and snorting and grinding and Damon took his cue. Without any further warning, he climaxed, body spasming under her as globs and globs of cum shot out of his cock and into her waiting mouth. She choked a little and as her throat muscles closed around his cock trying to swallow, Damon thought he was going to cum again. She did not, however, slow her pace. She milked it with her mouth and continued her pelvic assault on his face and hands until she raised her head and let out a scream – not the ice-cold water on your back kind – but a mix of passion and release.

Her juices flowed out of her like a stream and like always, Damon savored every drop of her that she was a killing to give. Slowly, he pulled his fingers out of her tight canal –she always seemed to go right back to her tightness after an orgasm – and run his hands appreciatively over her ass which lay on his chest.

"Oh wow..!" He sighed. They'd never done that. Well, he'd eaten her out a lot – because he found he actually enjoyed that, something he hadn't realized until quite recently. Perhaps it was the way Bonnie responded to his cunnilingus. Perhaps it was the moans and whimpers, the way her body spasmed that urged him on – but Bonnie didn't seem to enjoy fellatio. This would be the second time she's done it to him and from today, he concluded perhaps it was the rarity of the occurrence that makes him lose his sanity so quickly. His chest heaved –both of theirs did – and all he could think of, was how much he appreciated the rarity of Bonnie's blowjobs.

"Yeah," She agreed after what felt like forever. She hadn't expected a 69. Somehow, she always thought it was impractical and had just wanted to give Damon some head but that... That was unexpected and good.

Bonnie licked at the side of Damon's sensitive nuts and he squirmed. A little at first, then flipped her off himself as she persisted. 

She laughed. 

He loved that laugh. 

Bonnie sat up, trying to find the covers she had discarded earlier and Damon watched from his position on the bed, hand tucked behind his head. While Damon loved the sight of her naked in his bed, what he enjoyed even more was how comfortable she obviously was there. This was no longer a fling... Heck, half of their friends knew by the end of the wedding and he imagined by now, everyone who didn't know, has been told. 

She pulled the covers up over them and shuffled into his side, smiling when his arm came around her instinctively, possessively. She wanted to be there again and again. ... and so did Damon.

Tonight, they sleep... Later, much much later, they’ll have some things to talk about.

 

ELSEWHERE:

Elena had invited Liam to Alaric's wedding as his date even though she was on maid of honor duty. Every chance she got, she'd giving him a smile from across the room and savored every one of those private moments. When she'd look up, it was to find Damon's eyes on Bonnie and there had been... Something about that. She couldn't quite put a finger on it.

The same unease happened when she had heard that conversation between the pair on the dancefloor but chose to ignore it. Her joy that evening was that she was going to be a human, and date Liam properly and no amount of “feelings” would get in the way.

What she hadn't expected, was the abuse of emotions and memories that rushed through her the moment she took the cure. She had excused herself from her date and gone to the bathroom of the diner but rushed out before she could pass out. Nothing was worse that passing out on the floor of a college bar's bathroom.

“Damon...” Was the first thing she said when she woke up in her bed,. She looked around and saw Liam sleeping by her bed, the other inhabitants of the room obviously spent the night elsewhere. “Oh my God, Damon… what did I do?” she whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading this... I have started working on the sequel to this and hopefully I'll start posting that soon.
> 
> I really appreciate the company throughout the months. Thank you.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at a Vampire Diaries fic and my first attempt at writing after what feels like years of writer's block. Updates my be slow and frankly I don't know how long (or short) this will be.
> 
> Since I'm still writing this, feel free to leave me prompts I can improvise in...and review.
> 
> Thanks.


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